In Your Arms
by christmasinacup
Summary: Sequel to What Hurts the Most: Kate and Rick start a new chapter of their lives together and do their hardest and most rewarding teamwork, with a few bumps along the way.
1. Chapter 1

So this is the sequel to 'What Hurts The Most!' I know it's been months since I finished that story, but it took me a while to figure out what direction I wanted to go in... I hope you guys love it! Please review so I can make this sequel awesome!

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Kate Beckett slammed her apartment door shut and tossed her purse towards the couch carelessly. She was frustrated and on the verge of tears. _Why why why why why?,_ her mind kept repeating over and over. She leaned against the kitchen counter and bit her lip to prevent from sobbing, running her hands through her hair.

"Kate?"

Castle emerged from the back of her apartment. He had a pretty bad case of bedhead and it was obvious that he had fallen asleep on her bed while he had been writing. He saw her face and knew something was wrong. He walked over to her, pulling her into his arms.

"What's wrong?"

She lost it and started to sob. "Wh-wh-why is he s-such an ass-asshole?"

"Who, baby?"

She swallowed, trying to breathe normally. "! He keeps asking me about all the things I don't want to talk about! And he knows that I don't want to talk about them!"

He led her over to the couch and sat down, positioning her in his lap. He stroked her hair while she wiped her eyes.

"Kate, honey, he's a therapist. That's what they do."

"Not when you're with me!," she insisted, furiously wiping away more tears. It wasn't too useful, tears just kept pooling in the corners of her eyes.

"That's because….. because he wants to talk about us when I'm there. And how I can help you. Plus, I've only been 2 times so far."

She frowned. "Well, you're coming on Thursday, right?"

He nodded and kissed the top of her head. "Of course. I promised I would come once a week."

"When can my appointments become just once a week? I hate going 2 times a week, it interferes with work," she pouted, leaning her head against his chest. He smiled for a second, Kate's behavior reminding him of when Alexis was a child.

"Soon," he said comfortingly. "I'll talk with , see what he thinks."

It had been 3 weeks since their reunion. Castle had made Kate take a week off of work, so the first week after was mostly movies, chinese food, coffee, and fun. They had been in a sort of honeymoon-esque bubble, just being with each other and being in love and making each other smile like neither of them had in weeks.

But then the week ended, and Kate went back to work, Castle at her side. At the precinct, they kept it professional but still flirty, like they had before. As per Castle's plan, she had started off slow, and had been benched once or twice because Ryan, Esposito, and Castle had deemed certain things to dangerous for her. She hadn't been happy about it, but at least Castle had always stayed behind with her. And she knew her boys had her best interest at heart. She finally got a chance to talk to Lanie again, and they went out for dinner or drinks a few times to catch up. She had started going to therapy twice a week, with Castle joining her once a week, also part of the plan.

Every night had ended at her apartment or Castle's, he refused to let her be alone. She had pretended to be slightly annoyed, but she secretly would have hated to spend even one night without him. They kept overnight bags in her car, and he always let her choose where they went. She often chose his place, guilty for taking him away from Martha and Alexis, who always welcomed her with hugs and offers of movie marathons and ice cream and shopping trips.

She had taken them up on a girl's day once, spending her day off (Castle, with the help of a note from , had convinced Gates to give Beckett Saturdays and the last half of Fridays off) with Martha and Alexis to see a play and do some shopping. Castle fondly remembered the hunter green long-sleeve minidress she had brought home. She had tried it on for him and he had spun her an elaborate story about the perfect date he was going to take her on in that dress. She had smiled and kissed him and told him that it sounded perfect, indeed.

And at the end of every day, his place or hers, they climbed into bed together and he held her in his arms, trying to keep the nightmares away. He was almost always successful, and every morning when they woke up, she told him she felt safe with him beside her, just sleeping. And he grinned and kissed her cheek and said that he would always be there.

They were pretty domestic already. They knew the other's favorite breakfast, how long each other's showers lasted, what the other meant when they said, "the denim jacket with the leather-y sleeves," or "my purple shirt that has those thin stripes." They hadn't slept together, and Castle made a point to tell her, often, that there was no pressure and absolutely no rush. And that made her happy, because it told her how special he really was. How special he truly is.

But it wasn't all happy and loving. There were days like today, where she was just so frustrated and lost she questioned why she was putting herself through therapy. Some days, she was mad at him, and he left her alone for the day, letting her throw herself into her current case at the 12th. Those were the times he wrote. Sometimes it was his newest Nikki Heat book, title still in question, sometimes it was short stories about her. Things he imagined they would do together, little moments that happened that he never wanted to forget.

He had a newfound patience, as well. One night, Kate had said to him, "I don't know where that little boy side of you has gone, but thank you for staying strong and being the man I can depend on." That one remark had made him so happy. That she had not only noticed his slight change in behavior, but appreciated it. He wanted to be that man, the one she could depend on, every day for the rest of his life. He would never stop being that man for her.

It was so hard for him to know that on the more difficult days, like today, he couldn't help her. Those nights usually ended in anger (hers) and silence. She tried very hard never to lash out at him, because she knew that everything she was going through he was doing to help her. But some nights, she just needed to climb into bed, turn her body away from him, and be alone. And he respected it, with that newfound patience that she adored. By the next morning, she was almost always in a better mood, and he was rewarded with a very long kiss for just letting her be alone.

"Ughhh," Kate groaned, bringing him out of his thoughts and into the present day. "I don't care what thinks. Tell him its what you want!" Her eyes brightened at this new idea. "Tell him that _you_ think its best I only go once a week!"

Castle laughed and kissed her hair again. "You know that you don't truly hate him," he said to her, trying to get her to look him in the eye. "He's trying to help you, and you know that."

Kate snorted. "Oh, okay."

Castle just shook his head. She really was Alexis, circa ages 4-8. He tried the line that had often worked on his daughter when she was young: "Want to talk to me about it?"

Kate sighed and shifted in his lap so she was looking at him. Or in his general direction, anyway. She was avoiding direct eye contact, which she always did when she was uncomfortable. "Ummm…"

"Just tell me what wants to talk with you about that you don't want to talk about," he coaxed her, putting his hand on her cheek and feeling her perfect cheekbones.

"Okay," she said softly, nodding. "My mom, and her case. PTSD and the shooting. How we still haven't caught the guy, and how I feel about that. Montgomery. My dad's drinking and how I might have exhibited some early signs of alcohol addiction while you were gone. The 6 weeks when you were gone. Royce, sometimes…"

She blinked away some tears that threatened to fall again. He hugged her.

"I know that stuff is hard to talk about," he said, stroking her hair. "But if you can lift some of that weight off of your shoulders, don't you think that it's worth it?"

She nodded 'yes' but still looked angry. Tears slid down her cheeks.

"I've experienced enough pain to know that something being "worth it" doesn't make it easier."

"I know, honey, I know," he said, hugging her to him again. "How about at the next appointment, we talk about that stuff instead of you and me?"

A half-smiled formed on her face, and he continued.

"I mean, we've both come to peace with what happened after the book signing, why we were apart. I'll sit right next to you on that couch and hold your hand, and when he brings up your mom or the PTSD, I'll be right there, and you can squeeze my hand and I can make sure you feel comfortable with whatever is said."

She nodded and whispered, "Okay."

But it wasn't okay. Kate Beckett lay awake later that night, or early the next morning, whatever you consider 1 AM to be. Castle slept beside her, his hand and hers clasped together on her stomach and his body turned towards her. She was lying flat on her back, staring at the ceiling, wide awake. She didn't know how much longer she could pretend everything was okay. Truthfully, she was hiding a lot from Castle. She just didn't want him to know how hard everything was on her, because she knew it would hurt him. He would think he wasn't trying hard enough, he wasn't making her life easy enough for her. And that was wrong. He was doing more than enough. He allowed her to choose whatever she wanted to do outside of work, promising to follow her to the apartment she wanted to sleep each night, his or hers. He drove her places, or paid for her cabs to get to therapy, the precinct, CVS, wherever. He welcomed her into his family and home with a warmth that she had never experienced before. He loved her, and he wanted the best for her. He made sure that she was comfortable in every aspect of her life, from the food they had for dinner to the bed she slept in. He cared for her, and took every struggle as a challenge, giving it all he had.

She didn't want to disappoint him, or let him down. And she didn't want him to lose himself trying to make her happy. He had his own life, he had things that were all his own and didn't overlap with her life. His poker games, his writing, Alexis and Martha. She couldn't take him away from all those things just so she could be "okay." So she decided that for now, she would struggle alone and pretend things were getting better. Therapy would work, it just needed time. No one can resolve all their issues in 3 weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter 2! I know it's pretty angsty right now, but I promise you that eventually the story will even out :) And if you couldn't already tell, the story is named after the song 'In Your Arms' by Stanfour. Listen to it while you read!

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The next morning, Kate woke up early. Like 5:30 AM early. She quietly got dressed in workout clothes, packed a bag with an outfit for work, and wrote a note to Castle:

_Woke up early and decided to get a workout in – I took a cab and left the car for you. Going straight to the 12__th__ from the gym. You don't need to come to the precinct today, our latest case just ended so I'll probably be doing paperwork all day, and I know how much you hate that. Espo will keep me in line if something does come up. _

_Love you. – Kate_

She left the note on her pillow and crept out of her apartment just a few minutes before six. Twenty minutes and one cab ride later, she was beating the shit out of a punching bag in the practically empty gym, with just 2 other people there, both on treadmills. At 7:30, she took a shower in the gym locker room and then got dressed in a chocolate brown v-neck sweater, jeans, and a leather jacket. She braided her hair to the side and let a few little curls escape and frame her face, did her eyeliner, and then grabbed her bag. She decided she wanted to walk to the precinct, it was only 20 or so minutes from her gym. While she walked, she pulled out her phone to see if one of the boys had called her about a body. She had one voicemail from about 6 minutes ago, so she called it and was a bit surprised when it was Castle.

"Hey honey, it's me. You're probably in between the gym and the 12th, but I just wanted you to know that I got your note and I'm going to spend the day at the loft writing. You're right, paperwork sucks - ," he laughed and then continued, " – but hopefully it means that you can leave work a little early. Alexis has a sleepover tonight and mother left this morning for one of her 3-day spa retreats, so we'll have the place all to ourselves. I was thinking a quiet, romantic night in, to make up for your crappy day yesterday. Let me know if that sounds good. Anyway, I love you and I will see you later. Don't hesitate to call me if you want me to drop by with lunch or some coffee. Bye, gorgeous."

Tears pooled in the corners of Kate's eyes and she stopped for a minute, ducking into an alley next to an Italian restaurant. She leaned up against the cold concrete wall and pushed the heels of her hands against her eyes, trying to stop the tears. She took a minute to compose herself, checked her eye makeup in the screen of her phone, and walked quickly to the precinct. She needed a case.

Back at his loft, Castle was sitting down at his laptop to finalize the details of Nikki Heat's newest case when his cell phone rang. He smiled, thinking it might be Kate responding to his message.

"Castle."

", this is Dr. Carter Burke, I'm Kate Beckett's therapist. We've met a few times."

"Yes, , hello. How can I help you? Is it about Kate?" Castle shifted in his chair, slightly worried.

"Yes, , it is. I understand that you and are… in a relationship. And I know it was your idea for you to attend one of her two weekly sessions."

"Yes, it was. I was actually going to ask you about making it only once a week at tomorrow's appointment. She and I both agreed that dialing it back a bit might be easier on her."

"That's fine. However, I think that maybe you should stop accompanying Kate to her sessions."

Castle was puzzled. "May I ask why?"

"Well, I can see that you and Kate are very close to each other, and you care for her very much. I just want her recovery to be something she achieves on her own, it will be helpful to her. It will make her stronger."

"With all due respect, , Kate has that strength already. And she wants me there. Besides that, I want to be there. I love her very much, and I want her to feel comfortable and not rushed."

"I see where you are coming from, I do. But doing this alone will give Kate a bigger sense of pride and accomplishment if she works through this on her own. And you two seemed to have worked out whatever problems there are in your relationship."

"Yes, but I was _there _for all of it. The re-opening of her mother's case, the death of two of her mentors, the shooting. She was bleeding to death in my arms. I almost lost her, do you understand? I can't….. I can't lose her again." Castle's tone grew slightly forceful, and he felt like he might cry. He hadn't cried since… well, since Kate got shot.

"You won't lose her, . Think of how much therapy can help her, the person she will be in a few months, once we start to make some real progress."

"I will lose her. She might decide she doesn't need me, or she might go down that rabbit hole again."

"You won't, , I can assure you. I just think she might make progress faster if her boyfriend isn't there every other week."

Castle rubbed his temples and sighed. "Okay. But if she doesn't agree, I join her."

"We'll give it a few weeks, . I assure you that I want only the best for Kate. Have a good day."

"You too," Castle said. He hung up and immediately punched the wall. _Oww. _He needed Kate to feel safe. After her appointment yesterday, she had been in tears. Part of that may have been from her overall frustration, but still. She needed him there. And he needed to be there for her. Show her he could be serious, and there for the bad stuff, too, not just the fun stuff.

At the 12th, Kate was filling out paperwork. She yawned and looked at her phone clock. 11 AM. She was just about to start composing a text back to Castle (which she had been avoiding since she got his voicemail) when Ryan rolled his chair up to her desk.

"Where's Castle?," he asked gently, pointing to Castle's empty chair. "You guys seemed pretty good there for a while."

Kate smiled softly. She really did love Ryan and Espo for being so sweet to her when it mattered. They trash-talked each other often, as cops do, and Kate herself was very skilled at it. But when it came to certain things, the boys knew when to leave it alone and just be her friends.

"I made him stay home and write. He does have a career besides following me around, you know."

Ryan laughed and wheeled his chair back to his desk, where Esposito was waiting expectantly. They leaned their heads together and she heard him and Ryan exchange a few whispers: "What'd she say, bro?" "Castle's writing. I told you they didn't break up." "Hmm." "You owe me 5 bucks." "I'll pay you later."

Esposito then popped his head up from their little 2-person huddle and called out to her, "Hey Beckett, we got a body. 72nd and Lex."

Beckett grinned, picked up her gun, and jumped up from her chair. Finally.

xxx

Kate got to Castle's building at 8 pm, after spending the whole afternoon and evening attacking her newest case. A murder of a used bookstore owner over a rare copy of a book was right up Castle's alley, and she was excited to tell him about it. Then maybe he would forget that she had been distant today. He had texted her around 2 and asked what she wanted for dinner, and she had just replied with a vague "I don't know, you can choose."

Before the incident last May, she and Castle rarely texted each other outside of the Precinct, or talked on the phone, but since they had reunited, texts with smileys and terms of endearment had become the norm, as well as short little phone conversations just to check in with each other when they were apart during the day.

Kate got off the elevator and let herself into Castle's loft with the key he had given her. She didn't see him anywhere, so she hung up her coat and set her purse and overnight bag in the hall closet.

She was just about to call his name when he came up behind her and surprised her with a hug. She stiffened for a second, but when she realized it was him, she relaxed into his arms.

"Hey."

"Hey," he said, kissing her neck and making her melt. "I got Chinese. You hungry?"

She nodded, not wanting to leave his arms. "Yeah. Starving."

He took her hand and they sat down at the kitchen table, where he had set out Chinese food and poured them each a glass of red wine. The food was still warm, and smelled amazing.

"I had Ryan call me when you left so the food would be ready when you got home," Castle said sweetly, pulling her chair out for her. She sat down and smiled.

"Thanks."

Castle stole a quick kiss before sitting down across from her. Kate looked happy as she piled Chinese food onto her plate from the different containers. He didn't want to ruin what could be the perfect night, but he would be unable to fully focus on the gorgeous woman in front of him if he didn't tell her what happened today.

"Hey, Kate? I got a call from today."

She froze and looked at him over her glass of wine. She looked… for a second she looked worried. But then she bit her lip and looked a bit hopeful.

"What did he say?"

"He is okay with you going once a week, but he thinks I shouldn't come anymore. At all."

Her face softened. "Oh. Well that's okay, right? Maybe it will be good for me, make this whole thing go faster."

Castle was confused. Yesterday, she had wanted him there. Needed him. And now it was "okay" for her to go alone? And that whole thing about the process being faster, that sounded almost exactly like what had said.

"Are you sure? Last night – "

"Last night I was exhausted, and I took it out on you, " Kate said, taking a bite of chicken chow mein. " is a great doctor, and if I open my mind a bit more I think he and I can make a lot of progress."

Castle didn't know how to reply, so he stuffed a huge forkful of moo shu pork into his mouth and nodded slowly. When he finished chewing, he took a sip of wine and said, "Okay. But you change your mind, you let me know. I want you to feel comfortable through this whole thing, Kate."

She nodded and got up from the table, her plate empty.

"I'm going to go slip into my pajamas, okay? Maybe then we can watch a movie or something. Sound good?"

He nodded. "Sounds great, honey."

She picked up her overnight back and smiled at him, still sexy as ever. Castle watched her disappear into his bedroom. He was going to lose her. He could already feel her pulling away. And he couldn't stop the pain.

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Hope you guys enjoyed it! Review please? ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Here's chapter 3! It's time to start fixing the angst and start working things out ;) As always, tell me what you think via the 'review' button!

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The next morning, Castle was making coffee when Kate emerged from the bedroom, her hair messed up in a very sexy bedhead kind of way, and wearing one of Castle's old oversized college sweatshirts over her pajamas. He held out a mug filled with coffee to her and she took it, placed it on the counter, and pulled his face to hers for a very passionate kiss.

"Well, good morning to you too," Castle stammered. Kate grinned wickedly at how flustered she had made him and sipped her coffee. He poured himself a cup and they went and sat on the couch together.

Kate listened to Castle list his plans for the day, as well as hers. He would write while she spent a few hours at the Precinct, then he would pick her up for lunch before her appointment with . After the appointment, he would either take her back to work or they could spend the afternoon together, her choice.

She smiled and nodded, taking large sips of coffee and trying to avoid speaking. Kate's plan had been to subtly distance herself from Rick, so he wouldn't get hurt or lose himself in trying to make her happy. But when he was so selfless like this, and so sweet and caring and kind, and _sexy_, he was hard to resist. She had spent hours last night tossing and turning, and the only thing that calmed her down enough to sleep was him. She had looked at his handsome, sleeping face and instantly felt soothed.

"If the boys need me for the case, I'll go back to the 12th. But if not, an afternoon off with you sounds perfect," she finally said, squeezing Castle's hand. He smiled and squeezed back.

"Yes, it does."

Kate went into the bedroom and got dressed, and when she emerged, Castle was standing by the door, holding her red peacoat out to her. She slipped into it and pressed a small kiss to his lips.

"Have a good day, beautiful," he said with a smile. He handed her a travel coffee mug, filled with the warm liquid.

"You too, handsome."

Castle sat at his desk, laptop in front of him. He had really wanted to go to the Precinct today, but Kate had made him promise that he would sit this case out and get some writing done. He was far from making his first deadline, which was next month. He couldn't even decide on a full case, he just had some small details. Rook was out of his coma and both he and Nikki, though they refused to say it to each other, were afraid to be apart for too long. Then Castle had a great idea: Rook should ask Nikki to move in with him! They'd been dating for a while, and were crazy about each other, and it would add a light, loving aspect to the book, which maybe would give him some room for a slightly grittier, more intense case.

And then he got an even better idea: why not let reality mirror fiction and ask Kate to move in with him? There would be no more back and forth, no 'my place or yours.' Sure, it had only been 4 weeks, but he loved Kate more than anything in the world, and he was certain they would be together for the rest of their lives. And moving in together didn't mean speeding up the relationship – they wouldn't sleep together until Kate wanted to. And think about it, it was _them_. Castle and Beckett. They were far from strangers. Even if they had only acknowledged it recently, they had been in love with each other for at least 2 years.

A rush of confidence surged through Castle and he picked up his phone, texting himself a reminder to make a copy of his key before he picked Kate up for therapy. Then he returned to Rook and Nikki, typing furiously.

He was powering through his latest chapter, and had been writing for close to 2 hours when Alexis came into his office. Even though it was about 10 AM, she only had something like 2 classes this semester and was home a lot more often.

"Hey dad."

"Hey sweetie. Just give me one second for Rook finish his sentence…."

He finished his thought and hit save, then looked up at his beautiful daughter.

"What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if I could sleepover at Claire's tonight. She's inviting a ton of girls over for a movie marathon. I know I had a sleepover last night too, but I want to spend as much time as I can with my friends before graduation..."

"Of course you can go," he smiled. "Sounds like fun."

"Thanks," she grinned and came around the desk to hug him. He pulled her into his lap and brushed her long, shiny red hair away from her face.

"Oh, and Grams just left. She said that she's teaching classes at her studio all day, and then there's a rehearsal for King Lear tonight, so she said not to expect her until late tonight or even early tomorrow morning."

Castle laughed. "Better there than here."

Alexis nodded. "Yeah. And that way you and Beckett can have a nice dinner in. How is she, by the way? I know she's been here all the nights you have, but I haven't seen her much."

"She's okay. Working on getting better, but it's going to take some time," Castle said, not wanting to say too much. "But actually honey, I wanted to ask you about that."

"About what?"

"About how you would feel if I asked Kate to move in with us."

Alexis thought for a moment, then asked, "Dad, are you asking my permission?"

"Of course, sweetie," he said. "It's your house too, even if only for a few more months." He sighed and Alexis giggled. Then she smiled at him.

"I think it's a great idea, dad. Beckett is already part of the family, might as well make it semi-official. And I hate to think of her being alone in her apartment ever, after what happened. Plus, I'll be going off to college in a few months, and who knows what could go wrong if you were here all my yourself."

Castle squeezed his daughter in a huge hug. After about 40 seconds, Alexis said, "Dad. You can let go."

He laughed and released her. He waved her away with his hand. "Go, go. Be a teenager, have fun with your friends!"

She smiled and walked towards his office door. When she got to the doorway, she turned around and said, "Dad?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Does Kate make you happy?"

"Happier than I ever thought I could be," he replied truthfully. She smiled thoughtfully.

"Good."

xxxx

It was 1:15, and Castle was racing to the Precinct to pick Kate up for a late lunch before her 3 o'clock appointment with . He had just made a copy of his house key at a local locksmith shop, and hidden safely away in his pocket to give to Kate later tonight. He had walked, underestimating the time it took to get from his loft to the locksmith's, and then to the 12th. He entered the precinct, got in the elevator, and hit the button for the homicide floor. Once the elevator started to move, Castle leaned against the back wall and closed his eyes, panting slightly.

When the elevator opened, he smoothed his hair and tried to compose himself, then stepped into the bullpen. It was not too busy, and he could see Kate, Ryan, and Esposito looking at the murder board for their current case. He tiptoed up behind them just in time for Esposito to turn around and casually say, "Hey bro. Next time you sneak up on someone, you may want quieter shoes."

Ryan and Kate burst into laughter and Kate greeted him with a kiss on the cheek as he looked down at his feet in confusion. Were Converse really that loud? Esposito laughed and held his hand out, birds ready to be fed.

"I'm just messing with you, man. I could see your in the reflection of Gates's office window."

Castle laughed and fed Espo's birds, then looked at the murder board while Kate gathered her coat and purse.

"A used bookstore owner? Rare editions of some of the best and most interesting literature of our time? Cool!"

Ryan laughed. " 'Interesting'? That's the best word you can come up with? You're a writer, Castle, be more creative."

Castle grinned his evil super villain-grin and wiggled his eyebrows. "Magnificent, life-altering, mind-blowing, stupendous, terrific, astonishing, provocative, moving, insightful, enjoyable, intriguing, amazing, powerful…"

Esposito and Kate laughed and Ryan just looked sheepish, then pretended to answer a phone over at his desk.

"Impressive," Kate said, slipping her coat on. She ran her fingers through her shiny chestnut curls. "Ready to go to lunch, Writer Boy?"

"Writer Man!," Castle protested, as they headed towards the elevator. Kate just smiled. "C'mon, Kate!"

xxxx

After a wonderful lunch at Remy's, Castle had dropped Kate off at 's office, with the promise to be there to pick her up in exactly one hour. She had kissed him and squeezed his hand, just needing some comfort for a moment.

Now she sat on 's couch, trying to think of the best way to answer the question he had just asked.

"My relationship with Rick is…..good," she said, trying to subtly avoid eye contact. He noticed.

"You seem unsure."

"I'm just… I was worried he was sacrificing too much in his life to make me happy, so I thought about pushing him away. I thought that if he knew how hard it is for me to make it through a day, he might see it his fault, as something he can work harder to fix. He cares for me so much, and I feel like I'm just going to disappoint him. And it's not fair for him to lose who he is in an effort to change some things that can be changed."

nodded. "And what is he sacrificing?"

"His writing, spending time with his daughter. Alexis is going to college in a few months, and he spends all his time focused on making me comfortable and happy."

"Do you think he sees this as an imbalance?"

"No, I don't think so."

"And you think that if he knew you were still struggling, and that things were still very hard for you, he would think it was something he was doing and spend even more time and energy trying to fix it?"

"Yes. Time and energy he could spend working on his next book, or playing poker with his writer buddies, or enjoying these last few months with his daughter at home."

"Do you think that you are not worth his effort?"

Kate hung her head. "I don't know. Maybe?"

"And you said that you don't want to disappoint him... do you think that not getting better will disappoint him?"

"I don't know. He just has this optimism about him, I just think that he doesn't really understand the amount of pain I'm in sometimes. He may not realize how hard it truly is for me most mornings to even get out of bed."

"Kate, it seems to me that Rick is very much in love with you. Do you feel the same way about him?"

Kate looked up at him, a little offended. He didn't really have the right to ask that, but that wasn't what bothered her. "Of course!"

"How does he make you feel?"

"Safe. Protected. Loved, and cared for. I feel like I'm worth it to someone, and that I have a reason to be happy every day. And I'm so terribly in love with him, with everything about him. I mean, he can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he's my pain in the ass," Kate confessed. She was surprised at how open she was being, and seemed to be too. It wasn't too clear though, he was very good at keeping a straight face.

"Do you doubt that he will be there for you, no matter what happens?"

"No," Kate said. "I know he'll always be there for me when I need him to be."

"Then I think you have nothing to worry about with Castle. And no reason to push him away. You are very important to him, Kate, and having someone you can depend on in the way you described will help you get through everything you are feeling."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4! It's gonna get... a little sexy ;) Why not, right? I put Caskett through enough angst, they need a break. Enjoy & review please!

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When Kate emerged from 's office, her head was swimming with a billion thoughts, not one of them clear. Rick was sitting in a chair in the small waiting room of the private therapy office, reading something on his iPhone. He smiled warmly when he saw her and stood up, reaching out to take her hand. She clasped her hand in his and squeezed. They continued to hold hands as they walked to the elevator and rode it down 4 floors to the parking garage. When they finally had to let go of each other so Rick could open the car door for Kate, he kissed her hand and winked, then gestured to the passenger seat and said, "My lady, your carriage awaits."

Kate smiled a genuine smile and laughed, shaking her head. "So are you the court jester?"

"Funny," he said as he buckled his seat belt. They drove for a few minutes with no sound but the remastered Beatles playing on the car stereo. Castle turned to Kate and asked, "Back to work or home?"

Kate twirled a strand of hair around her finer and thought about it. She wanted to make some more progress on the case, follow up on a few leads she and Ryan had uncovered. But at the same time, she really wanted to spend the rest of the day with Rick. She weighed the two options in her head for a moment, then made a decision: "Take me home, jester."

Rick laughed and whispered to himself, "Anything is better than Writer Boy," and then to Kate, "Certainly, my lady. Shall we call the gents down at the Grand 12th Precinct and inform them not to expect your return?"

Kate shook her head at Castle's silliness and then dialed the 12th. Espo answered with his signature, "Yo."

"Hey Espo. I just wanted you to know I'm gonna take the afternoon off and go home with Castle. You two think you can handle the rest of the day without me?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, we'll be fine. I'll take care of Ryan."

Kate laughed. "Okay, see you tomorrow."

"Okay."

She tucked her phone into her pocket and stared out the window at the city as they drove to Rick's loft. She thought about her appointment with while Castle hummed along to the Beatles.

When they got to the loft, Kate went down the hall and hung both of their coats up in the hall closet. "Hello, Goodbye," was stuck in her head, so she sang it softly as she slipped out of her heels. She walked back down the hallway.

"So, Rick, what do you want to do? If you have to get some more writing done, I can just watch tv or read for a while. Or we could watch a movie….."

She walked into the dining room area and saw Castle down on one knee. Her eyes widened and suddenly she couldn't find any air in her lungs.

"Rick, I –"

"Katherine Beckett, will you move in with me?," he asked, holding out a shiny key on a cherry keychain with a red bow.

Kate was speechless. Move in together? Already?

"Rick, it's a big step," she said cautiously, taking a few steps towards him. "Are you sure?"

He stood up and walked to her, taking her hands in his. "Of course I'm sure. I want you here every day and every night, Kate. I want to wake up to you. I want to make you breakfast on weekend mornings and buy groceries together and fight over who gets to shower first." He restrained from making the obvious joke about showering together, which she appreciated.

She bit her lip. It seemed crazy, but at the same time it seemed like the perfect idea. Except for one thing. "But what about Alexis?

"I already asked her, she thinks it's a great idea. So what do you say?"

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yes. A thousand times yes."

He slipped the key into her back pocket and kissed her passionately, wrapping his arms around her waist. The kiss deepened, and he swung her up into his arms, carrying her over to the couch. They kissed until they were out of breath and forced to come up for air. Castle brushed the hair out of Kate's eyes and placed kisses down her neck, making her shiver. In that moment, Kate made a decision. Before she lost her confidence, she pulled her face away from Rick's and pulled her shirt off, tossing it on the floor and revealing her black lace bra.

Castle smiled and brought her face down to his, kissing her with even more passion than before. Kate tried to kiss him and take his shirt off at the same time, but she kept getting distracted by him. God, he was sexy. He finally stopped their kissing and pulled away, unbuttoning his own shirt and flinging it onto the floor next to hers. His white v-neck undershirt followed it, and she just smiled that wicked smile. Suddenly, she got up and walked towards his bedroom.

Castle was slightly confused. He got up and followed her, obviously not expecting their sexy makeout session to go much further. But his mind changed when he saw Kate's pants lying on the floor of his office. And her bra in his bedroom doorway.

What he saw on his bed nearly caused him to pass out. Kate, with her silky brown hair perfectly placed on her chest, wearing only a pair of black lace panties and lying on the bed. He stood next to the bed, speechless.

"You know," Kate said thoughtfully, her voice getting sexier and lower by the minute as she slid off the bed to stand in front of him, her hair falling away. "I don't like those pants too much. Maybe you want to take them off?" She smiled at him coyly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?," he asked her as she pulled his body to hers. She kissed him lightly, then sucked on his bottom lip. "Mhhmm." He grinned and pulled her down on the bed, unbuckling his belt.

She kissed him deeply. "I love you," she whispered. "And I can't wait to wake up to you in this bed every single day."

"Ditto," he sighed, kissing her again.

xxxx

At around 11 AM, Kate opened her eyes and the first thing she saw were Rick's bright blue ones, gazing at her adoringly. She smiled and leaned forward for a second to place a small kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Hey."

"Hey to you too," Rick said, putting a hand on her cheek.

"So, last night was….," he started, smiling lovingly. "Kind of perfect." She blushed.

"Yeah, it was, huh?"

Rick smiled. "How do you feel about it?"

"Pretty damn good," Kate said with a grin. He laughed. "What?"

"Nothing. I mean, I agree with you. But I meant how do you feel, emotionally? I didn't want us to do _that_ until you were ready."

Kate blushed a little bit more at Rick's protectiveness and sensitivity. That second one, she hadn't even known he had a few years ago. Rick looked worried, as if he thought he had made her do something she hadn't wanted to do.

"I'm the one who tore my shirt off first, remember? I wanted it, and it was perfect," she said truthfully, kissing him again, this time on the lips.

They kissed for a few minutes, Kate pulling her body closer to Rick's. She was making her way down his neck when he whispered, "Hey, we got pretty dirty last night. What would you say to a shower?"

Kate grinned and bit her lip. "Sounds good to me."

She slid off the bed and walked into the bathroom. Castle grinned too, and didn't try to hide the fact that he was staring at her ass.

An hour and a half later, Kate sat on a barstool in Rick's kitchen wearing her bra and jeans with one of Rick's button-down shirts, sipping coffee and watching him make pancakes. She could get used to this, being domestic with the man she loved. _Whoa, slow down there, Kate,_ she told herself. _You gotta take it slow._

He stretched his arm over the counter and handed her a mug of steaming hot coffee. She accepted it with a grin and sipped it quietly for a few minutes while he finished the pancakes. Rick Castle was so cute in the kitchen. He buzzed around, washing strawberries, getting whipped cream from the fridge and taking a minute to spray some into his mouth.

He started to bring everything to the table and it looked delicious. Once he had placed the bacon, pancakes, fruit, and orange juice on the table, he led Kate to a chair. She blushed and set her coffee down next to her plate.

"Wow, Rick, this all looks amazing. Thanks."

He sat down across from her and grinned, reaching over to squeeze her hand for a second.

"You're welcome."

They both dug in, and for a while there was no sound but forks scrapping on plates and the Joshua Radin music softly playing from the iPhone speakers in the kitchen. After fifteen minutes of stuffing their faces, Kate leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, making a little happy noise. Rick rubbed his stomach.

"I am a damn good cook."

Kate opened her eyes and laughed. "And you're modest too."

He laughed with her. Then they both got up and started to clear the table. When they were done, Rick pulled Kate into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her forehead against his.

"So," she whispered, staring into his bright blue eyes and feeling completely head over heels crazy. Her knees felt weak and she thought about the last 12 hours.

"So... what do you want to do today?"

"Hmm… well, I have the day off, so maybe just relax… kiss a little…," she kissed his neck and he sighed.

"Yeah… that's sounds good."

He cupped her chin and pulled her face to his, kissing her softly on the lips. She deepened it passionately, until they were so lost in each other that they didn't hear the front door open.

Alexis waited as long as she could watch her dad make out with Kate before she cleared her throat.

"Um, hey, dad. Kate."

They parted and Kate buried her face in Rick's shoulder, embarrassed. Rick's face burned bright red as he smiled weakly. He waved awkwardly and didn't move a muscle.

"Hey, sweetie. How…. how was your sleepover?" He coughed.

She smiled, but you could tell she felt a bit awkward too. "Good. We went shopping this morning, I got some new jeans a really cute sweater. I'm actually going back out in an hour, Paige and I are going to see a movie and then I have a 3-hour intern shift with Lanie."

"Cool," Rick nodded, trying to seem casual and totally cool, even though he could feel Kate was as embarrassed as he was. "Did you eat lunch?"

"Yep," Alexis said, calm and cool, the opposite of her flustered father. After a few seconds of awkward silence, she headed for the staircase and said, "I'm going to go upstairs." She turned back to her father. "Oh, Grams called me, she said she left for the Hamptons early this morning and didn't want to wake you."

"Thanks, sweetie. Have a fun time with Paige, let me know if you need movie money."

"Okay. See you later. Bye, Kate."

"Bye," Kate mumbled, muffled by Rick's shirt. The second Alexis was out of earshot, she lifted her head and gaped at him.

"Oh my God!"

He chuckled. "Relax," he said, pushing her hair to the side and massaging her shoulder. "She knows we're together."

"I know, it's just…awkward."

"Agreed."

They both laughed, and then she turned around to face him, putting her hands in his back pockets and pulling him to her.

Yet I want to do it again," she whispered, kissing him. He grinned.

"Oh, dangerous. Sexy."

"Oh yeah?," she whispered, even softer, gently pushing him towards his bedroom. "You wanna see how sexy I can get?" She kissed his neck again, causing him to moan very softly.

"Yes please," he whispered, swinging her up in his arms and carrying them to his bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry this took a few days! Fun fact: I've been adding in things from my own life here and there in this story, and in this chapter it's what Kate and Alexis say about To Kill A Mockingbird. Enjoy :) Oh, and my birthday is in a few days, so give me a review as a present? ;)

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It was 3 in the afternoon, and Kate and Rick were lying in his bed. Kate was wearing black boyshorts and Rick's red t-shirt, lying on her stomach and reading her copy of Heat Wave, her feet near the pillow and her head near the end of the bed. Rick was wearing a pair of sweatpants, sitting up in bed next to her and typing away on his laptop. He stopped and looked over at her with a happy, loving smile on her face. She was so cute when she was concentrating. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes darted quickly across the pages, absorbed in the fantasy and fiction. In this case, it was their reality.

"What if we never left this bed?," he mused out loud, still watching her lovingly. She smiled at the idea and looked up at him.

"That's not a bad idea…. But then we could never move all my stuff in, and I'd have to wear this underwear and t-shirt for the rest of my life."

"Fine by me," he grinned, closing his laptop and placing it on his nightstand. He laid down next to her on his stomach, and she tossed the book on the floor and pulled him on top of her, kissing him tenderly.

"Do you want to start moving in today?," he asked, stroking her hair as they laid down on their sides, facing each other. "Or is it too soon?"

"No, I want to live here as soon as I can," she admitted with a smile. "I don't think I could spend another night not in this bed with you."

Rick grinned. "You have no idea how much I love hearing that." She smiled and nudged him with her shoulder. "I love saying it."

"I have an idea," Rick said. "What if we start boxing your stuff up, and then take a break to go out to dinner? Like a real, formal date. You can dress up, and I get to show you off to all the unlucky people in New York City who wish they had you on their arm."

Kate blushed, as she always did when Rick praised her.

"I like it, " she said thoughtfully. "We'll get the basic stuff I'll need for the next few days, and tomorrow we can go back and start getting everything else."

He grinned. "Perfect. And I'll make the dinner reservations."

When they got to Kate's apartment, she pulled her key out of her jeans pocket and looked at Rick.

"Guess I won't be using this for much longer."

"Oh!," he exclaimed, fumbling around in his pocket as they stepped in her apartment. "That reminds me!"

Kate laughed as Castle went through his pockets until he found what he was looking for. He handed her the key he had presented to her last night, but with a new addition: the red bow and the cherry were still there, but now the key also hung from a small ceramic coffee mug. The keychain was about the size of a nail polish bottle (minus the cap), and it was cream-colored. On it "3 always, Rick" was scrawled in black.

"Rick…..," Kate said, taking the keychain from him and dangling it in front of her face. "This is lovely, thank you." She pulled his face to hers and kissed him.

"You're welcome," he said with a smile. "I wanted something cute."

She grinned, still amazed by the little coffee cup. "You got it."

They both looked around Kate's apartment. Books, furniture, little trinkets she had collected over the years. It was going to take a lot longer than they had thought to move all her stuff to Rick's place. Rick voiced this out loud, and Kate agreed. They decided just to pack up some of her clothes and other necessary things, and then come back tomorrow and really sink into it. They packed clothes, shoes, and toiletries into suitcases, along with things like Kate's favorite books and ipod and laptop. At about 5:30, Rick looked at his watch.

"Hey, our reservation is in an hour and a half."

Kate looked up from the dry cleaning bags she had been putting her coats in.

"Oh yeah, I should probably shower and change."

He smiled. "I don't know, I like what you're wearing."

She was still wearing his red t-shirt, with her jeans. She smiled and rubbed the soft red cotton.

"I love this shirt," she confessed, hugging her body. "When I started staying overnight at your place more often, I searched your drawers for it."

"That's why you were wearing it! I thought it was just a weird coincidence that that was the shirt you found to wear to bed!"

She shook her head. "Nope. It makes me feel safe, and loved, like I have a family. I just remember the morning after my apartment blew up, making brunch in your kitchen, listening to you and your mom's loving banter, wishing I had something like that in my life."

Rick came over to where she was standing and put his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her and planting a kiss on the top of her head.

"Now you do," he said, pulling her into a hug. She smiled. It meant the world to her to finally have a family, to have someone to come home to. She relaxed into his arms, not ever wanting to move. But she had to shower, and get dressed up, and go enjoy a night out with Rick. She kissed his cheek and stepped back.

"I'm going to go shower."

"I'll head home and do the same. Pick you up in an hour?"

She smiled. "It's a date."

He kissed her hair one more time before leaving her apartment. She heard the door close and immediately felt a pang of loneliness. How was it that she missed him, when she had barely been apart from him in the last month?

xxxx

Kate stared at herself in the mirror 40 minutes later. She was wearing a hunter green long sleeve minidress and nude pumps, her hair side-parted and wavy. The only coat she hadn't packed yet was her long gray peacoat, so she slipped it on. It covered the hem of her dress, so all you could she were her bare legs. She smiled to herself at how much she could tease Castle about what was underneath it.

She applied her makeup a little differently than she usually did, winging out her black eyeliner a little more than normal and putting on a deep berry lipstick that brought out her green eyes. Her skin glowed and she smiled at her reflection.

When Castle arrived, Kate opened the door and his jaw dropped. He looked so cute standing there, in his black suit and dark blue shirt that matched his eyes. He was holding a bouquet of red roses, which he slowly held out to her, still mesmerized by her bare legs, 4-inch nude pumps, and soft lips. She took them and thanked him, kissing his cheek and then pulling him into her apartment.

"I changed my mind, let's stay in."

"Nope," she shook her head. "Uh uh. You promised me a real date."

"But…but," he looked her up and down yet again. She grinned and fiddled with the belt of her coat. Then she set the flowers on the kitchen table and picked up her purse, ushering Castle out the door. He laughed.

"I can't help it if my girlfriend is insanely gorgeous and makes it hard to leave the house."

Kate just laughed and took his hand. Rick squeezed it and they walked down the hallway together. The second the elevator doors closed, she pulled him to her for a deep kiss.

xxxx

The next morning, Kate walked out of Rick's bedroom – well, now it was hers too – sleepily, wearing his boxers and red t-shirt. Alexis was sitting at the kitchen counter reading To Kill A Mockingbird and drinking tea. She heard Kate's footsteps and looked up with a smile.

"Good morning."

"Hey Alexis…," Kate said, disoriented. She had woken up to find Rick gone, and she had to leave for work in an hour. She refused to move on with her day until they shared a coffee, it was an unwritten rule. So where was he?

Alexis seemed to read her mind. "My dad went out to get fresh bagels."

"Oh, okay."

Kate sat down next to Alexis and tapped the cover of her book.

"That's one of my all-time favorites. Don't tell your dad though, he thinks that he's my favorite author of all time."

Alexis turned to face her and grinned. "Is he?"

Kate winked. "Top five."

"Yeah, I really love this one. I read it in middle school and just couldn't get it out of my head. I probably re-read it every couple months."

"Me too," Kate confessed. "When we were packing up some of my stuff last night, it was the first book I grabbed off the shelf and stuck in my bag of important stuff." She cleared her throat. 'Um, Alexis… I know your dad talked to you about it, but how do you feel about me moving in? I feel like your dad already focuses a lot of his time on me, and I don't want to impose on you guys..."

Alexis laid her hand on Kate's forearm. "I love that you're moving in with us," she said, a bright smile on her face. "It's about time you and my dad found happiness, and I couldn't see him happy with anyone but you. Plus, he's going to need someone to take care of him when I go off to college." She laughed, Kate joined her.

"Don't worry, I'll house-train him," Kate joked. Alexis looked genuinely happy, and that made Kate happy. She liked Alexis, and she wanted to have a good relationship with her.

The front door opened and Rick walked in with a bag of bagels and one of those cardboard coffee cup trays. He came over to the counter, kissed the top of Alexis's head and Kate's cheek, handing them each their drink. Hot chocolate with extra whipped cream for Alexis, a grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla for Kate.

"My favorite," Kate grinned, taking a big sip and then placing a quick kiss on Castle's lips. "Thanks, honey."

She blushed and took a huge sip of her coffee to avoid talking. She hadn't meant to call him "honey." Hell, half the time she didn't even call him Rick. But even though it had been an accident, she liked the way it sounded. Rick just smiled at her and didn't say anything, trying not to ruin it. Alexis's phone rang and she answered it, walking upstairs to her room as she chatted with her friend.

Rick slid onto Alexis's now empty barstool. He nudged Kate with his shoulder.

"You look sexy in my clothes," he whispered. He kissed her neck and she shivered, despite the hot coffee in her hands.

"That's not all I look sexy in," she whispered back. She leaned close enough to him so that he could smell her cherry shampoo, then pulled away, sliding off the barstool and walking away from the kitchen to get her phone from the living room. He groaned and she just laughed.

"That was mean."

"Sorry, I gotta get dressed. Murderers never sleep, you know. I bet the boys will call me with a body any –"

Kate's phone rang and she answered. Smirking at Castle, she said, "Yeah, Espo. Give me 20."

He made a face and she walked back over to him and kissed him deeply.

"Sorry," she said, leaning her forehead up against his. "Movie night tonight? Something action-packed and adventurous?"

He nodded and kissed her again. "Okay."

Ten minutes later, Kate was dressed in a black turtleneck, jeans, and a leather jacket, walking out the door with the half-filled travel cup of her favorite coffee in hand.

"Bye!," she called to Rick as she opened the front door. He had been hit with inspiration a few minutes earlier and was sitting at his desk, typing furiously.

"Bye!," he yelled back. "Have a good day, I love you!"

"I love you too!" She smiled to herself, still not believing that this was her life.


	6. Chapter 6

She could not believe this was her life. Not only did her murder victim not have any prints (burned fingertips), but he was shot in the face, making identification extremely difficult. Even Lanie looked discouraged.

"I can run dental records when I get back to the morgue," she said, studying Beckett's face. Kate nodded.

"Or maybe Ryan and Espo will get lucky with the canvas and find his wallet or something."

She inspected the body. The guy was fit, but not muscular. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, so his clothes didn't really tell her anything about what he did or who he was. He had short, dark brown hair and aside from the burned fingertips, he didn't any unusual marks or wounds that she could see. They had found him laying face-up on the bed of the hotel room she was currently in. It wasn't a seedy motel, but it wasn't a five-star place either. Everything she had so far was very…..plain. No clues, no evidence.

"Hey, Becks."

She looked up and saw Ryan in the doorway of the hotel room. He was grinning and holding a black leather wallet. She beamed and caught it as he tossed it to her. She pulled the driver's license out and smiled to herself.

"Gotcha."

Back at the precinct, Kate and Esposito were setting up the murder board. Their victim was Daniel Roberts, a 34-year old lawyer at a small firm here in Manhattan. They were trying to map out a timeline, but they didn't have much luck. They barely had any information at all. They didn't know who had last seen him or talked to him before he died. Lanie also hadn't called them with COD yet. Beckett was hoping Ryan would get lucky with the family.

"Hey, Beckett." Ryan crossed the Precinct and joined Esposito and Kate at the murder board.

"You talked to next of kin?"

"No," he said hesitantly. "But I did find some other information you might find interesting. Turns out our murder victim was a murderer himself."

"Really?" Kate turned around and looked at him curiously.

"Well, alleged. There was an APB out for Daniel Roberts, he was wanted for the murder of Elizabeth DeKay, socialite and suspected black widow."

"Hey, I've heard about her," Esposito said. "She was a person of interest in the death of a wealthy Wall Street dude a few years back. Prelim was heart attack, but they found out he was poisoned. They had no evidence that she did it, so she didn't get charged with anything."

"Huh," Beckett said. "Call in . I think we should have a little chat with her about how she knew our victim," she said to Espo. He nodded and he and Ryan left. Kate was studying the pictures of Daniel, trying to figure out what he had gotten into, when her phone rang. She prayed it was Lanie with her COD. She needed to get this investigation moving.

"Beckett."

"Hey, Kate. It's me."

"Hey, honey." She smiled, loving the way it sounded even more than she had this morning. Which was weird for her. She wasn't really a terms of endearment kinda gal. But Rick Castle made her want to be.

"How's work going?"

"Good. I'll tell you all about it tonight, you're gonna wish you were here. But I want you to meet your deadline."

Kate had put her foot down and told Castle he couldn't come back to the precinct until he finished the first draft of his newest Nikki Heat manuscript. He had whined at first, but then agreed. It was almost finished, anyway.

"Yeahhh… I'm actually not writing today. I was gonna move some more of your stuff. I called to see what you want me to do, or if you'd rather do it together."

"Oh." She paused. "That's really sweet, thanks. I guess you could pack up all my books and take everything off the walls. We can decide where to put it later, but the more stuff that's in boxes, the easier it will be to movie, right?"

"Sounds good," he said. She could tell he was smiling. "Hey Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," she said happily. She loved how all this felt – it made everything else bad go away. She was about to tell him that, but then he phone beeped and she saw she had a text from Lanie.

"Hey, I gotta go. Lanie has something for me."

"Okay. Have a good day, I'll see you when you get home."

"I will, thanks. Bye."

"Bye."

Kate hung up and slipped her jacket on, praying for COD. She needed some more pieces before she could try to solve this murder. And she also really wanted to get through the day so she could go home to Castle.

xxxx

When Kate got home, she let herself into the loft with her new key. The pretty little ceramic coffee cup made her happy whenever she saw it. She let herself in and called out, "Honey, I'm home!"

She heard Rick's warm laugh and followed it to his office, where he was just getting up from his desk. He held his arms out and she rushed into them for a hug. He squeezed her tightly and she squeezed back. When they broke apart, he followed her into the bedroom, where she kicked off her high-heeled boots and slipped off her leather jacket.

Rick whistled jokingly and she playfully punched him.

"Not tonight, mister."

"You never know…," he said, wiggling his eyebrows as she twirled her hair into a messy bun. She just shook her head and laughed.

"So what do we do now?," she asked, as he put his arm on her shoulder and they walked out into the living room. They sat on the couch.

"What do you mean?," he asked, pulling her into his lap.

"Well… I don't know. I've never done this before."

"Lived with someone?"

"Well, yeah. Lived with a boyfriend." She paused, feeling silly. He smiled and kissed her neck.

"We talk about how our days went, and we eat dinner and tease Alexis about the things teenagers hate their parents teasing them about, and then we curl up together on the couch or in bed and cuddle. Sometimes we watch a movie or read. We just enjoy each other's company, really."

She smiled and kissed him. "That sounds perfect, actually."

"Oh yeah? Who knew Kate Beckett could be so domestic?," he chuckled, stroking her hair.

"Not me," she admitted. "I'm just as surprised as you are."

"Yeah, well you're about to be more surprised," he said, getting up from the couch and taking her hand, pulling her with him. "Come here."

"Hey, speaking of, where is Alexis?," Kate asked as they walked down the downstairs hallway.

"In her room, filling out college applications. They're due soon," he said, stopping in front of a closed door. He put one hand on the doorknob, and took hers in the other.

"Okay, close your eyes," he said, that excited 9-year old-on-a-sugar-rush grin appearing on her face. Becket raised her eyebrow, but before she could say anything, Castle shook his head.

"Trust me."

She closed her eyes and gripped his hand. She heard the door open and walked carefully, lead by Castle. She had only taken a few steps when they stopped and he said, "Okay, open your eyes."

Kate opened her eyes and was taken aback. The room was filled with her stuff. Her computer sat on her desk from her apartment, with her chair too. On the wall, her poster of a woman on a bridge and a few photos of her and her parents when she was younger were hung up. There was a picture of her and Castle at that ball they went to for undercover work a few months after she met him sitting on the desk in a picture frame. There was also a picture of the two at them at the 'Heat Wave' book party. Her books lined a shelf on the left wall of the room, along with some of her little knick knacks, and an armchair from her living room with her gun pillow (that she had gotten as a joke from a friend) was in the corner. But perhaps the most amazing thing was that the boards she had put together for her mother's murder hung on the back wall, right above a row of cabinets.

She turned to Castle, amazed. "You did all this today?"

He smiled and nodded. "Yep. Alexis helped a little too. It's not all your stuff, but we can put more in here. I just thought you might want your own little place."

"Rick….." She noticed for the first time that the walls were painted a purple-gray color, one of her favorites. It was perfect.

"Thank you," she whispered, kissing him deeply. He put his arms around her and kissed back. When they broke apart, she leaned against him and he put his arm around her waist.

"I love it."

"I'm glad," he said, kissing the top of her head. They stood there for a few minutes in silence as Kate took in the room some more. Rick had put some cute things around the room, like a stack of heart-shaped post-its on her desk and a coffee can wrapped in police tape with pencils and pens in it. She turned around and hugged him again. Then, he surprised her by swinging her up into his arms and carrying her down the hall.

"Castle!," she shrieked, laughing. "What are you doing?"

They came into the kitchen, where Alexis was setting the table for dinner. She saw her dad carrying Kate and rolled her eyes at his childish antics, then laughed. Castle smoothly set Kate down on a barstool and then offered her a glass of wine, which he accepted. He also offered Alexis some, and when she said, "Dad, I'm only 17. I'll drink when in 4 years, when it's legal," Kate burst out laughing at the crestfallen expression on Rick's face that his daughter wanted to follow the rules.

"So, Alexis, how are the college applications going?," Kate asked over dinner 15 minutes later. Rick had made a really yummy chicken salad that the three of them were enjoying. Kate hadn't had a family sit-down dinner like this is so long, and she liked it.

"Good. I'm applying to a lot of places. NYU, Colombia, Oxford, a few places in Boston and DC…"

"Not Stanford?"

"No," Alexis said, a little sadly. "Ash and I broke up. Plus, they didn't want me the first time, and I don't want to apply again."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kate said, frowning.

"Thanks," Alexis said. "I guess I'm bound to get in somewhere, right?"

"Hey, sweetie, even if you don't get in anywhere, you can always just live here with me and work at the Chevy's down the street," Castle joked, causing Alexis to look at him in horror. Kate tossed her napkin across the table at him. It landed on his head and covered most of his face.

"Zip it, _kitten_," she said. He pulled the napkin off his face and his expression soured at the use of "kitten." Alexis and Kate laughed, and Kate her hand on Alexis's arm.

"Don't worry, Alexis. Any college would be lucky to have you."

"Thanks, Kate," she smiled. The sight of his two favorite people in the world getting along made Rick very happy. He smiled.

"Hey Alexis, do you want to join me and Kate for a movie after dinner?"

"I'd love to, but I really have to finish those applications. Some of them are due next week. But you guys have fun." She excused herself and went upstairs.

Rick winked at Kate across the table. "We will!," he shouted up to her, trying not to sound suggestive. He failed, but luckily Alexis didn't hear him. He got up and stood behind Kate's chair, putting his arms around her neck and kissing her hair.

"Nuh uh," she shook her head, standing up and starting to clear the table. "Movie."

He looked like a kicked puppy. "Fine," he pouted. "Doubt?"

"Ooh, yes," she said with a grin, pouring herself and Rick some more wine. "I haven't watched that in the longest time. And you know I love me some Meryl."

Rick laughed. "Me too."

Rick popped the movie into the dvd player and Kate joined him on the couch, snuggling into his lap. She pulled a blanket over the two of them and Rick wrapped his arm around her shoulder, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. He could smell her cherry shampoo and he inhaled happily. Life was good. Even though there were many things he liked to do with Kate Beckett, just sitting and watching a movie was lovely. It felt comfortable and domestic. And he adored every second of it, as did she.


	7. Chapter 7

Dun dun dunnnn! My signature angst ;) Let me know what you think! And please tell me what you think about how I wrote Martha.

* * *

"Oh. My. God."

Kate could not believe her eyes. She squeezed them shut for a few seconds, to make it go away. But when she opened her eyes, it was still there.

"CASTLE!"

"What? What is it, honey?" Castle came running out of the bedroom, still wearing his pajamas and robe. He saw what Kate was looking at and froze. "Oh."

She just stared at him wordlessly, looking back and forth from him to the screen. Because there was his investigation, complete with pictures of her and everyone else involved with her mother's case, detailed notes included. She looked hurt and concerned and scared and lost and confused.

"I can explain."

xxxx

It had been almost 3 weeks since Kate had moved into Castle's loft, and all her stuff was there now. It was their home. Every night was like the first: dinner with Alexis, and sometimes Martha (who was very social lately, and not home as often, something Rick called a "blessing"), then a movie or some quiet time in each other's company. Sometimes Kate would read or take a bubble bath while Rick wrote, or he would take the bath with her. Sex was one of the great things about living together, no doubt, but it was just as fun to cuddle up together in bed and talk, or do any of the other domestic things they did, Kate had found. She never thought she would have so much fun having a "Say Yes to the Dress" marathon, playing laser tag, or making apple pie. Rick was an exceptionally good cook, and whenever she could, she watched him cook dinner. He taught her every step of every recipe he made, from hamburgers to pasta carbonara.

This whole mess of discovering Castle's secret investigation had come about when Kate went into his office that morning to get her gun out of his safe before work. She had bumped into the desk, jostling the remote and causing it to fall on the floor. In her attempt to pick it up, she stepped on the power button. And saw everything.

xxxx

"How long?" She asked, clenching her teeth.

"Well, you see, I –"

"Castle, _how long_?"

"Since the shooting," he admitted, bracing himself. He had screwed up, big time.

"Since the _shooting_? That's 6 months, Rick!"

"I know, I know!," he said hastily. "But let me explain. Kate, just let me tell you everything."

"Fine," she said. She sat down in his desk chair and started up at him expectantly. She looked even more angry and hurt. "Go on. Explain why you hid this huge secret from me for so long."

Castle ran his hand through his hair, trying to figure out where to start. But there really was no good place to start. All that he knew was that when he was done, he had a pretty damn good chance of losing Kate Beckett. And he couldn't let that happen. So he started by stating the most simple fact.

"I can't lose you, Kate."

She didn't want to let her guard down, he could tell. Her eyes softened for five seconds, then went cold again. She waited for him to continue.

"When… when you got shot, at Montgomery's funeral, we knew it was because you were looking into your mom's murder. That summer, I got a call. From an old friend of Montgomery's. He said Montgomery had sent him a file, a file containing information about you and your mother's murder that was too dangerous for me to know. But he said that the only way to keep you safe was to stop you from looking any further into the case. So I figured that if I could maybe figure it out on my own, or at least try, I could keep you safe. And I don't care if it was stupid, Kate. I watched you die that day. I almost lost you, and am I not losing you again."

He had started out quietly and timidly, but he finished firm and unwavering. He looked at her, but she just seemed… blank.

"Who is he?"

"I don't know. We've only talked on the phone."

"Castle, why didn't you tell me?" Tears welled up in her eyes. She stood up. "I had a right to know! It was my life that was almost taken away that day!"

"You don't understand, Kate. This man basically guaranteed another set of crosshairs on your body, and this time you wouldn't make it. I couldn't tell you, because you would just say "fuck it," grab your gun, and just throw yourself into the line of fire."

"It doesn't matter, Castle! It's my life, it's _my_ choice."

"No, Kate, it's the choice of the people that love you. Your father, the boys, Lanie, Alexis, my mother, _me_. Your mother's death was horrible for you, and I know how long her case has haunted you. But you can't destroy all of our lives by being so careless with yours just to try and find her killer. It's basically suicidal, Kate."

Tears were spilling down her cheeks now. "And this investigation was what? Your intervention?"

"Maybe, I don't know." He was frustrated, wringing his hands together and wishing it were appropriate to wrap his arms around her. But the situation was too tense.

"Did you ever think that maybe you could have sat me down, _like an adult_, and had a serious conversation with me?"

"You were recovering from a pretty traumatic event, Kate. And don't pretend you would have listened to me if I asked you not to do something reckless."

"Excuse me?" She looked furious. Maybe that had been the wrong thing to say.

"Yeah, if I had said, 'Hey, Kate, so this guy who knows all this stuff about your mom's case called me, and you have to stay far away from it or they will kill you,' you wouldn't have listened to me. Do you realize I did all of this because I love you? Because the thought of losing you scared me too much to chance this on the hope that you wouldn't be stubborn, like you tend to be?"

Kate just looked tired all of the sudden. She slumped against the wall and rubbed at her eyes. Her cheeks were tear-stained.

"Does that matter?," she asked quietly. "You kept this from me this whole time. Through all of this. I told you the truth, and you promised to be there for me. And now I feel like these last 2 months have been a lie."

"Kate –" Castle was desperate not to lose her. He couldn't bear to let her walk out of his office, let alone his life.

She held up her hand. "No, I just... I need some time. I'm going to go to work, okay? I'll uh, see you tonight, when I get home."

"Please don't run away from this," he pleaded. "We can fix it, okay? Just because something bends doesn't mean it has to break."

She nodded sadly. "I know. But it can't just spring back to the way it was like that." She snapped her fingers lamely, barely making a sound. She silently unlocked the safe, removed her gun, and walked out of his office, lightly touching his hand as she passed him.

"Bye."

He just stood there and listened to her heels clack against the hardwood floor, the door open and then close. The second it closed, his legs gave out and he collapsed into a little heap on his office floor.

_You're such a dumbass_, he told himself.

About ten minutes later, he dragged himself up into the desk chair and opened a new Word document on his laptop. But then he stopped, and instead took out a piece of paper and a pen.

'Dear Kate,' he started. 'I know that you're angry…'

xxxx

At the precinct, Kate had just gotten off the elevator when she received a text from Lanie.

Lanie Parrish: Got new info on your vic, come down ASAP

She sighed and turned around, stepping back onto the elevator just before it closed. She felt that heavy, dragged down feeling that often accompanied her holing up in bed with some melancholy music and a hell of a lot of pain. It was going to be a long day.

When Kate got to the morgue, she was able to put on her façade for about ten minutes. She and Lanie were standing next to the body, and Lanie was lifting up the sheet near the victim's ankle to show her something when suddenly the façade slipped away and she went numb.

"So I was able to tell that he… Beckett?"

Kate looked at Lanie, who looked worried. "Huh?"

"You looked a little… upset. Are you okay?"

Beckett nodded, and faked a half-smile. "Yea- No. No, I'm not."

Lanie put her arm around Kate. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Kate didn't want to go into the details, so she just said, "Rick and I had a fight."

"Ohh." Lanie pursed her lips, as if she was imagining which of her ME tools would be most painful to a living person. Before she could get any ideas, Kate just ran her hand through her hair and sighed, looking as tired and weighed-down as she did back when Castle was gone.

"It's ok, I'm sure we'll work it out…." She paused, because she honestly didn't know if that was true. "I just need some time."

"You sure?" Lanie was concerned. She had rarely ever seen Kate like this. She knew it took a lot to reduce Kate Beckett to faking smiles and admitting something was wrong.

"Yup."

"Okay, well if you need anything, let me know, okay honey?"

Kate plastered a half-smile on her face and nodded. "Okay."

Kate came home to an empty loft that night. It was about 10:30, and she remembered from yesterday that Alexis had gone to the Hamptons with some friends for the weekend. She heard footsteps, and braced herself for the possibility that it was Rick, but instead Martha came dancing down the stairs, holding black stilettos in her hand.

"Kate, darling!"

"Hey, Martha," Kate smiled. Martha was dressed to kill, complete with sparkles and plenty of bracelets. The older woman slipped into her heels.

"Sorry to leave you dear, but I just came back to change my outfit. Richard is at a party for Black Pawn, he wanted me to tell you that he is only going to stay as long as he has to. For a man who once used to be very social, he's becoming very domestic."

Kate shook her head and almost laughed. "I guess having a child does that to you."

"Oh no, my dear, Alexis certainly never dampened his social life. It's only been recently that he's stopped gallivanting about town into the wee hours. 3 years or so, I'd say."

Martha checked her clutch for her phone, then placed a kiss on Kate's cheek before heading to the doorway, waving her arms theatrically.

"Richard may be a homebody now, but someone in the family has to party. Have a good evening, darling!"

And just like that, leaving just a cloud of Chanel behind, she was gone. Kate had to laugh at Martha's energy. She had more energy and optimism than Kate most days. And speaking of, Kate was exhausted. She trudged into the bedroom, kicking her heels off and tossing her coat on the bed.

That's when she saw it: a piece of folded paper sitting on her pillow. She picked up the paper and unfolded it, immediately recognizing Rick's neat scrawl. It was a letter.

_'Dear Kate,'_ it said. _'I know you're angry, but you have to understand that everything I do is protect you. What if you had known? If I told you everything, there is a very good chance that you wouldn't be alive right now. And you can be as upset with me as you want, but I never was and never will be willing to take that chance. You can't be so careless with your life when it matters to other people. This sounds selfish, but what would I do? If I lost you and you left a hole in my life, in my heart, that would never be filled? I had six weeks without you to be an empty shell, and that guy wasn't someone who would have lived like that forever. If you hadn't been alive, I would be gone by now. The only way I got through those weeks was the hope that every time a phone rang, it would be you. That every time I heard footsteps, they would be yours. So what if you slip away and I lose you forever? Would it have been worth it?_

_I want more than anything to find the man who is responsible for all the pain you've suffered, believe me. And we will find him. But until we know how to do it right, and until you're better and we are on a more solid ground, it needs to wait. So for now, please just be content with being your amazing self, with falling asleep in my arms every night and kicking the asses of all the bad guys in the city. Please._

_I love you, so much. So much more than you may ever realize. –Rick'_

She was at a loss for words. She sank down on the bed, re-reading the letter.

Wow.

Had she really let herself be blinded by her own stubbornness? She mentally kicked herself when she realized the answer to that question was a definite 'yes.'

And she had made him feel like it was his fault! He had only been trying to keep her safe, and she had reduced him to pleading, with that wounded-puppy look on his face. She had put him through hell, and hated herself for it.

There was really only one way to fix it: a good, old-fashioned apology. She owed him a HUGE one. Kate knew the best way to start earning Rick's forgiveness was go meet him at that party. But he hadn't left her his usual note saying where he was, and a book party for an exclusive publishing house like Black Pawn could be in over 100 places in the city. She remembered Rick saying it was for a new author Gina wanted him to endorse, a young guy. What was the name? Darren… Derek… Dylan! Dylan Mills.

Kate ran into the office and opened Rick's laptop. She smiled when the window asking for his password popped up. She typed in, "a-p-p-l-e-s," and in 10 seconds was searching for Dylan Mills's Facebook fan page. She found it, and the newest post told her exactly where she would find Castle.

Now all she had to do was change into something more party-appropriate. She pulled open the doors to the giant closet, only to find that all her dresses were in black dry-cleaning bags. She had to open at least 6 bags before she found the one she was looking for. A midnight-blue cocktail dress with a deep v-neck and a swishy skirt that stopped just a few inches below her knees. It was sleeveless, so she put her long gray trenchcoat on over it. 20 minutes later, she had slipped into her highest nude pumps, brushed her wavy hair and styled it half up, half down, and re-applied her eyeliner. The final touch was red lipstick. She tucked her phone and the address of the club the party was at into her coat pocket, and rushed downstairs to hail a cab.

As she sat in the back seat of the taxi, she crossed her fingers and prayed that he would forgive her.


	8. Chapter 8

Kate handed the cabbie a twenty and stepped out of the cab and onto the sidewalk in front of a edgy, hip-looking club. She took a deep breath and pulled open the door, taking a few steps in. It was chaotic. A Lady Gaga remix blared from the large speakers in every corner, and posters advertising Dylan Mills's book, "Mass-Murder in Manhattan" hung from the ceiling. The author himself – a young guy with black hair and a scruffy beard – was sitting at a table on the edge of the dance floor. And sitting with him were Gina and Rick. Kate slipped her coat off and hung it on a peg next to the door. A few more deep breaths, and she was making her way towards the table where Gina, Rick, and Dylan sat.

Dylan was earnestly talking to Rick about something, and Gina was sipping a martini and nodding every few seconds. As Kate got closer, she could hear Dylan saying, "….and then I'll end it with the 5th book, where the serial killer is caught and Detective Morgan is awarded a medal of valor!"

Rick nodded, and looked up from his scotch, where he had been pushing ice cubes around with a tiny straw. The straw slipped out of his fingers and he gaped.

"Kate…"

"No, the detective is named Jacob Morgan. I –"

Gina put her well-manicured hand on Dylan's arm and pulled him up with her.

"Dylan, some Hollywood producers are here. I think they would be very interested in your plan for the rest of the 'Mass Murder' series. Shall we?"

Dylan nodded, already forgetting about Castle. "Yes!"

Kate slipped into Gina's now-empty seat, and took Rick's hand.

"Hey."

"Hey," he said back, staring at her. "That dress is…."

She blushed. "I read your letter," she said, biting her lip. His face remained neutral. She squeezed his hand. He stared past her at a poster on the wall.

"Hey, look at me. Rick, I am so sorry. I was careless and selfish, not thinking about the people who love me. About you."

His face softened. "You weren't completely selfish, Kate. I know how badly you want to find your mom's killer. I know that passion, that deep need for justice. It's what drew me to you from the first time we met. It's how I felt when you got shot. It's why I started the murder board. I thought maybe –"

"Maybe you could catch him? Be the hero?" Kate smiled, her eyes sparkling. Rick smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, I guess."

"I love you so much for that," Kate said, scooting her chair closer to Rick's. "And I promise I will slow it down."

"We'll catch him, Kate. I swear to you, we will catch him." Rick leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Kate smiled and inside breathed a sigh of relief. Possible blowout fight avoided.

"Hey," he murmured into her ear, placing a small kiss on her neck. "You wanna dance?"

She nodded. "I'd like that."

They got up from the table and Rick held his arm out to escort Kate to the dance floor. She took it and just as they hit the dance floor, the song changed to 'In Your Arms' by Stanfour. Kate grinned.

"I loove this song!"

"Well, that's perfect, 'cause so do I. But, not as much as I love you.," he said, sweeping her into his arms and putting his hand on her waist. She winced, and he laughed.

"Too cheesy?"

"Just cheesy enough," she whispered, kissing him. They twirled around the dance floor, and in that moment Kate was perfectly 100% happy. When she whispered this in Rick's ear, he smiled and replied, "Me too."

xxxx

3 weeks later, Kate was in a deep sleep when she was woken up by a strange, tickly feeling on her stomach. She cracked open one eye and saw Rick's head laying on her stomach. He kissed her stomach again and she felt the strange, tickly feeling again. She opened the other eye and peered at him, clearing her throat.

"Hey there. Whatcha doing?"

"Um, being cute?"

She laughed as he pulled the bottom of her black tank-top nightie back over her thighs and moved up to lie next to her, pulling her into his arms. She winced slightly.

"What's wrong?," Rick asked, his tendency for concern kicking in.

"I think I slept on my back funny. There's this muscle in my right shoulder that really hurts," Kate said, rubbing it. Rick grinned and she was confused.

"Why does that make you happy?"

"Because –" Rick said, sitting up and pulling her with him. He moved behind her. "- I can give you a famous Richard Castle back massage."

Kate laughed. "Famous?"

He nodded and started to knead her right shoulder. "World renown."

Kate was about to laugh again and say something witty and maybe a little mock-insulting when she ate her words.

"Oh my god, that feels_ really_ good."

He smiled. "Told you."

She moaned happily as he continued to work his way down her back.

"Hey Kate, I've thinking, we need do switch it up. Do something different."

"What do you mean?," she asked as he made his hands made their way to her neck. "_Oooh_, yeah, that spot right there."

"I mean, living together and being domestic these past 3 months has been fun, but every once and a while we need to have some fun, do something exciting."

"And what do you have in mind?"

"Well, in 4 weeks I have to do a book tour, which I just found out today. You know, tease the first few chapters of the new book, get people excited for the release in May. Now, I know you can't take too much time off of work, especially with Gates around, but I was thinking you could join me for the last half. There are 2 stops in Texas, but then…. California!"

Kate smiled. "That actually sounds like a really good idea, Rick. It would be nice to get away."

"I know, right?" He asked excitedly, starting to talk faster. "My longest stop is in LA, and I was thinking we could stay in the same hotel room as last time, but you know, maybe share a bed instead of having separate rooms…."

Just like that, his voice became low and, well, sexy. He kissed her neck and she turned around, kissing him hard and pulling him down on top of her on the bed. They were getting lost in each other when Alexis's voice pulled them out of there makeout session.

"Dad? Kate? Is it okay if I come in?"

They sat up, and Kate smoothed her hair and straightened her nightgown before Rick yelled back, "Come on in, honey."

Alexis opened the door of the bedroom slowly, peeking her head before fully stepping into the room. The sight of Kate sitting in bed with her dad, in his lap, was something she was still getting used to.

"Morning, sweetie. What's up?," Rick asked. Alexis was dressed in yoga pants, sneakers, and a hoodie.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to the gym with Paige. I should be back in about 2 hours. Hi, Kate."

"Hey, Alexis," Kate smiled, trying to not be awkward.

"Got your phone?," Rick asked. "And your key?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Of course, dad."

"Great, have fun," he said with a smile. Just as Alexis turned to leave, he said, "Hey, honey, later Kate and I want to talk to you, I have a book tour coming up soon and we have to figure some stuff out."

"Okay," Alexis nodded. She smiled at them. "Bye dad, bye Kate."

"Bye, Alexis," Kate said. Alexis pulled open the door, but before walking through it, she turned around and looked at Kate.

"Hey, Kate, do you think we could go shopping later today? I know it's your day off, and my friend Anna is having a birthday party next weekend, I want to get a new dress."

Kate grinned. "I would love to, Alexis. How about we shop in the afternoon, and then see a movie?"

Alexis matched Kate's grin with one of her own. "That sounds perfect! Thanks, Kate."

"No problem, Alexis. Have a good run!"

The second Kate heard the front door close, Rick punched Kate's shoulder gently and laughed.

"Hey, look at you! Nice goin'!"

Kate tossed a pillow at him. "Shut up," she laughed. "I'm just trying to be a good mom-motherly figure-ish person…"

Rick laughed again, then kissed her forehead. "And you are doing a _fantastic _job. She adores you, Kate, she really does. I think you two will have fun together while I'm away. Some good bonding time."

He got up and pulled Kate with him. "C'mon, sexy. Any longer in this bed and I'm afraid I will have to rip that black sleep-shirt right off of you."

She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "So I take it you don't want to watch me make breakfast wearing just an apron?," she whispered, nipping his ear. He moaned and slipped out of her arms.

"I'm gonna take a shower!," he called, heading into the bathroom. She grinned and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed Rick's phone off the counter, plugged it into the docking center in the dining room, and turned on her favorite 1940s jazz Pandora station and waltzed around the kitchen, singing along to Rosemary Clooney and Ella Fitzgerald. By the time Rick got out of the shower, she had made blueberry muffins, scrambled eggs, and bacon.

Rick emerged from the bedroom in jeans and a white t-shirt, tousling his wet hair with a towel. His face broke out into a huge grin when he heard Kate's sultry voice coming from the kitchen.

"Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore, pull me close, sway me more…"

Kate did a little salsa dance move as she pulled the eggs off the stove, setting the skillet on the counter. When she turned around, she saw Rick smiling at her. She blushed and he clapped. He helped her set the table and pour orange juice when "Witchcraft" by Frank Sinatra came on.

"Ooh! I love this song!," Rick exclaimed, grabbing Kate's hand and twirling her into his arms. "Dance with me."

She smiled and put her hands on his shoulders. They swayed around the living room, laughing and smiling and singing lyrics to each other. When the song ended, Kate curtsied and Rick bowed, and then he pulled out her chair for her. They dug in to all the food Kate prepared, and Rick moaned with satisfaction.

"You kick a lot of ass everyday, but the thing you kick the most ass in is definitely making brunch," he said appreciatively, biting into his second muffin after finishing his first one in 5 bites. "Ya mom 'ould be tho pwoud of yew," he said, with a mouthful of muffin.

Kate laughed at his childish behavior and then smiled. "Thanks, honey. That means a lot to me."

He took her hand and swallowed before he spoke. "Always."

They were doing the dishes forty minutes later when "Witchcraft" came on the Pandora station again.

"It's a sign!," Rick almost yelled, dropping the pan he was washing into the sink with a clatter. He grabbed Kate's wrist and twirled her around the kitchen. She rolled her eyes and grinned, letting the music move her. She and Rick were laughing again when the front door opened and Alexis entered, Martha behind her with 2 armfuls of shopping bags. They were chatting about the beautiful weather that New York was having, especially for the beginning of February. But when they heard the laughing and the Frank Sinatra coming from the kitchen, they stopped and watched the oblivious couple sing the last verse to each other as they danced. When the song ended, Martha and Alexis applauded enthusiastically.

Kate and Rick turned around. Rick bowed and grinned that cute, attention-loving grin of his. Kate just leaned against his shoulder and blushed.

Martha smiled. "Kate, I didn't know you could dance so well!," she exclaimed. "You remind me of Anna Duvall. Granted, she and I were rivals for twenty years, but boy, could that dame cut a rug. She had that 40's glamour you have, dear."

Kate blushed even more. "Thanks, Martha."

"You're welcome!"

"There are muffins and fruit salad left if you guys want," Rick offered, saving Kate from being even more embarrassed. Martha shook her head.

"No carbs before 3 pm, dear. That's the rule." She waved her silk-blouse clad arm and swept into the living room and settling onto the couch with the newest issue of Vanity Fair.

"I'll take one!," Alexis said with a grin, grabbing a blueberry muffin off of the counter. "My workout made me hungry!"

"That's good," Kate smiled. "I bet you're going to be in perfect shape by the time summer hits."

"I hope so!," Alexis said. "It will be so nice to not have schoolwork to worry about for once..."

Rick snorted. "Like you're going to stop worrying about school once you get in!"

Kate elbowed him. "Rick!"

Alexis narrowed her eyes. "You're just afraid to lose the title of Laser Tag Champion to me. Once I get some time to practice, you should sleep with one eye open." She grabbed an apple from the bowl on the kitchen table and then headed up the stairs, stopping at the top to do the "I'm watching you" finger gesture. Rick returned it, and Kate just stood there, trying not to laugh. It was silent for a few minutes as Rick scratched his head, likely trying to figure out a good sneak attack plan.

"So, what are you kids doing today?," Martha asked, ignoring Rick's scheming.

"We don't really have plans yet. Maybe go for a walk or –"

Rick's eyes widened and he grabbed Kate's arm, pulling her into his office. "I need reinforcement! Today, Katherine Beckett, is your first day of Laser Tag!"


	9. Chapter 9

"Laser tag? Castle, I've had NYPD-certified gun training. I don't think I need to be taught how to play a simple game like laser tag."

"A simple game?," Castle gasped, putting his hand on his heart. "Kate, my sweet yet naïve love, let me explain something to you –" He paused and looked around to make sure no one was listening, then closed his office door. "- there is a complex strategy you need to know to succeed in laser tag. And since I have only 4 months to beat Alexis at a game we've been playing since she was a toddler. I _need_ you on my side. Please, Kate?" He pouted, using his puppy dog face.

Kate just smiled and rolled her eyes. "Afraid an 18-year-old girl is going to beat you, Castle?"

He didn't answer, just pouted some more, his hands clasped together like he was praying. After a couple seconds, she threw her hands up in the air and sighed. "Ok, why not?"

3 hours later, Kate had still not perfected what Castle called "the surprise corner attack." At least, not according to him.

"Kate, honey, your footsteps need to be _silent_. Think: light as a feather!"

Kate put down her laser gun and sighed. "Rick…"

He frowned. "No, Kate, c'mon! You're so close!"

She took his hand and led him to sit on the bed with her. She looked deep into his eyes.

"Why don't we talk about what's really going on here?"

Castle looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"You're not ready to lose her."

Castle stared at the floor and didn't respond. After a few seconds, he rubbed his temples with his free hand and sighed. Then he looked back up at Kate.

"She's my little girl. It's always been me and her. Sure, there was Meredith, but as soon as Alexis was just more than a cute baby to show off, she was done with motherhood. And Gina and Alexis got along, but they were never very mother-daughter-like. I raised her, and in a few months….. I just don't know what it's like to be without her, Kate. I'm going to miss her so much. You're right, I don't want to lose my baby girl."

Kate pulled Rick into her arms and kissed his hair.

"She's only going to Columbia, Rick. She'll be close to home, and she loves you as much as you love her. And you'll have me."

"She's _maybe_ going to Columbia. She still might end up at Oxford, or Stanford. But it won't be the same, even if she is still in the city. We won't live in the same house. No more sharing breakfast, or doing school projects together."

"At least Martha will still be around," Kate offered. Rick snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Great."

Kate squeezed him. "Honey, it's going to be okay." She pressed her forehead up against his. "And who knows, maybe in a few years will have a kid of our own…." She trailed off and smiled playfully. He grinned eagerly and kissed her.

"You mean it?"

She nodded, and kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around her and pushed her down on the bed, their kisses escalating. He pulled her shirt off and placed kisses all over her chest. She moaned happily, but then pushed him off.

"I didn't mean right now, silly!"

He pouted, and took her shirt off the bed, holding it behind his back.

"Fine. But you won't be getting this back from me anytime soon."

Kate crossed her arms over her gray lace bra. "Okay. I have nothing wrong with leaving the house like this. It'll put me in the good graces of some of your male neighbors."

Rick tossed the white v-neck tee to her almost immediately, mock-sighing as she slipped it over her head. She laughed and grabbed his hand, dragging him off the bed.

"C'mon, we need to get some air."

Kate and Rick dressed for the chilly February weather, putting on sweaters over their t-shirts and coats over their sweaters. Rick wound a scarf around Kate's neck and kissed her on the nose before knotting his own scarf, and then they slipped on their shoes. Rick left a note for Alexis saying that hey were going for a walk, and under it Kate left her own note saying that when they got back, she would take Alexis shopping. The only thing left were their gloves, and once they both had on their warmest ones, they got in the elevator and exited Rick's warm, comfy building to brave the cold New York air. Rick wound his arm around Kate's and clasped her hand, and she grinned. She had never been in such a loving, cutesy relationship, where every moment felt like it belong in a romantic comedy or on the cover of a greeting card. And as clichéd as it was, she liked it.

Neither of them could go much further than 2 blocks without coffee, so they stopped in a Starbucks. While they were waiting for their grande coffees, Rick was telling Kate about Gina's demanding deadline, and how she wanted 5 more chapters by the middle of next week.

"Let me know if you need some inspiration," Kate whispered in his ear, her hot breath tickling his skin. He tried to play it cool, and was about to reply with something equally as sultry, when a woman behind him exclaimed, "Rick Castle? "

He turned around and saw the women waving her hands excitedly. "Oh, you're just my favorite author! I was reading about your upcoming book tour the other day… I just love your work!"

He smiled kindly. "Well thank you. It means so much to me that fans like you take the time to tell me such nice things."

The woman was beyond flustered. "I just can't believe I'm meeting you! Will you sign my book?"

She pulled a paperback copy of Heat Wave out of her purse, and handed it to Castle, along with a pen, her hands shaking with excitement. He smiled and signed it, asking "Who should I make it out to?"

Kate stifled a snort behind her hand, turning away to pick up their coffees. When she returned to where Rick and the fan were standing, she handed him his coffee. He kissed her on the cheek and said, "Thanks honey." The excited fan stopped her monologue about Derrick Storm and whispered loudly, "Oh, are you Nikki Heat?"

Kate faked a half-smile, and Rick could tell she uncomfortable. He gracefully ended the conversation by saying, "No, but Nikki will be making appearances with me all over the country in a few weeks in a new adventure, Frozen Heat. It was nice to meet you."

He ushered Kate out of the coffee shop, and they walked another 2 blocks in silence before Kate asked, "Are all the fans you meet on book tours like that?"

Rick laughed. "No, most are a bit more subdued. I think it's because they're nervous. And a few are crazier – I remember I used to sign a lot of –" He stopped midsentence. "But that was a while ago. Things are different now."

Kate nodded and sipped her coffee. "Mmmhhm."

They walked to through Central Park and got lunch at a small café on their way back to the loft. Rick had a hamburger, and Kate had a grilled cheese with tomato soup. They talked all the way through lunch about Kate's latest case at the Precinct, and just to humor Rick, Kate let him tell her about more Laser Tag strategies. But in the back of her mind, the thought of Rick's crazy female fans refused to go away. Maybe she should accompany him, like he suggested. At least for part of it.

When they were in the elevator, she blurted out, "I want to come on the book tour."

Rick's eyes widened in surprise, and she rushed to explain. "I mean, the California part. I don't know how, but I'll get the time off. I have a lot of vacation days. And plus, I don't really want to be away from your for more than a few weeks."

He smiled and pulled her into his arms. "I like hearing you say that."

She bit her lip. "It's true. I love you, Rick Castle, and I don't want to be away from you."

He wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her passionately, backing her up against the elevator wall. The elevator stopped at their floor, and he undid her scarf clumsily, kissing her again and again, only stopping for air when he needed it. She managed to unlock the door in the midst of their heated makeout, and they tumbled into the apartment, kicking their shoes off and pulling off their coats. Rick pulled Kate over to the couch and on top of him, moving his hands up and down her back. She buried her face in his neck, kissing his hair and his ear and his shoulders. He was about to pull her sweater off when they heard footsteps on the stairs, pulling them out of their romantic reverie.

Kate leapt off of Rick and smoothed her hair just as Alexis reached the downstairs, her red hair tumbling down her shoulders.

"Hey dad! Kate!"

"Hey Alexis," Kate said, winking at Rick. "When do you want to go shopping?"

Alexis walked into the kitchen and poured coffee into a travel mug, adding some milk. "Whenever you're ready."

Kate grabbed her purse from the coffee table where she had tossed it and jumped up from the couch. She hated to leave after they had just gotten back, but she needed some space from Rick, or she would rip his clothes off right there on the couch.

"I'm ready to go now!" She collected her boots from the bottom of the stairs, and her coat from the railing, hoping Alexis didn't notice that their clothes were scattered all over the room. She didn't. She just grinned and slipped on a pale pink peacoat, then picked up her brown leather purse. "Great!"

Alexis ran over to the couch and kissed Rick on the cheek. He looked very confused and out of it, and a little sad. He also had that look on his face that only Kate recognized: the desperate need for a cold shower.

"Bye pumpkin," he murmured, staring at the wall. Alexis laughed.

"Did you just get some inspiration?"

"Yep!," he said, jumping off the couch and running into his office. "Bye Kate, love you! Don't spend all my money, Alexis!"

Kate and Alexis laughed, and Kate shouted back, "Love you too!"

Half an hour later, Kate and Alexis were in the Topshop in Soho, looking at racks of dresses. Kate scanned the party dresses, with mixed reviews.

"Okay, let's establish our rules."

Alexis made a face at a black dress with more cutouts than fabric. "Good idea. One: no major cutouts."

Kate laughed. "Two: if a stripper would wear it, it's a no."

"Three: it has to be longer than my underwear."

They giggled and Kate pulled out a deep green lace dress with a heart cutout in the back. "Does this count as a major cutout?"

Alexis grinned. "No! I love it!" Kate handed her the dress and they continued to flip through the racks. They ended up with 6 dresses: the green lace one, a white fit-and-flare velvet dress, a black and white floral printed dress with ¾-length sleeves, a royal blue strapless dress with a bow top, a loose floral tank dress that would need a belt, and a raspberry long-sleeve dress with small cutouts at the hips.

Kate sat on the bench in the dressing room, waiting to see Alexis's first dress, when she got a text from Rick:

_Having fun? ;) Don't empty my bank account!_

She bit her lip and typed back with a smile:

_Oops. I don't think the marble bust of your face and the matching Ferraris are returnable. Oh, and the 8 Chanel gowns. And the Louboutins…_

"Ta da!"

Alexis stepped out in the raspberry dress and struck a model pose. "What do you think?"

Kate was stunned at the young woman in front of her. She looked so grown up... and a little sexy.

"You look pretty awesome," Kate admitted. "Does it fit?"

"Yeah. It feels a little short, but other than that…"

"Well, the color looks great on you. I'd say it's definitely a finalist."

Alexis smiled. "Me too. Okay, blue strapless next!"

She closed the dressing room curtain, just as a woman of about forty, probably someone's mother, walked past. She turned to Kate and said, "Shopping with your daughter is such a great bonding experience, isn't it? Mine won't talk to me half the time, but all I have to do is take her shopping and suddenly we have a billion things to talk about. They're only with you for so long, you know? Gotta make it last."

Kate faked a smile and nodded. "Yep." She hoped the woman would get the message and leave, but she didn't.

"You must have been pretty young when you had her. Or is she your stepdaughter?"

"Umm," Kate bit her lip. She was saved by a girl yelling, "Mom!" from the other end of the dressing room. The woman laughed and said to Kate, "Nice to meet you," then yelled back, "Coming, Ashley!"

Kate was left feeling like she had been hit by a bus. _What just happened? _She barely had time to process the comversation when Alexis came out in the blue dress, holding the top to her chest.

"Can you zip this up?"

Kate nodded and stood up, putting one hand on Alexis's back and pulling the zipper up with the other. She did the tiny clasp at the top, and Alexis swung around.

"It's a little tight."

Kate nodded and looked at the dress. "Yeah. And the material isn't all that great, now that we're in better lighting."

"Okay, now the green lace!," Alexis exclaimed, turning around for Kate to unzip her. Once she did, Alexis skipped back into the dressing room.

15 minute later, they were down to 2 finalists: the green lace dress and the raspberry-colored long-sleeve dress. Alexis held up the green dress.

"Pros: the color looks good on me, I love the material, the heart cutout is really cute. Cons: it's a little too short for the end of February, the cutout is awkwardly placed, so I can't wear a bra."

Kate looked thoughtful. "Those are good. I think the raspberry one looks _great_ on you, is the perfect length, and is good for the weather."

"Raspberry with cutouts it is!," Alexis said cheerfully.

After they bought the dress, Kate and Alexis decided to get dinner instead of see a movie. Alexis picked the Johnny Rockets three blocks from the loft, so that's where they went. While Kate and Alexis sipped their milkshakes (strawberry for Kate, vanilla for Alexis), Alexis looked around at the walls and smiled.

"My dad and I used to come here every Friday after I got out of school."

"Really?"

"Yeah, when I was in elementary school He would pick me up, and we'd come straight here. He'd tell me the G-rated version of what he his latest book was about, and I'd read him the menu and tell him what I did in school. Then we would plan our weekend – movies, laser tag, ice skating. This was before Gina and after my mom, so it was just us."

Kate smiled. "That's really sweet. You know, when I first met your dad, I thought he was a total womanizer. But after a while, I realized that he was a wonderful and loving father. That there was more than him that meets the eye."

Alexis nodded. "He's always looked out for me. When I was younger, he did a good job of protecting me from the media and all the crazy fans who wanted their chests signed. He was always my daddy. The only thing that made him different from my friends' dads was that he read stories better."

Kate laughed. "He is a fantastic storyteller."

Alexis looked Kate in the eye and her tone turned serious. "Kate, my dad loves you more than anything in the world. Just so you know, I'm glad you gave him a chance four years ago. He needed someone like you in his life."

Kate's face softened. "Thanks, Alexis. I didn't realize it at the time, but I needed him too. Roy knew it, though. He made me work with him when I didn't want to…" She trailed off, feeing the pain in her heart she always felt when she thought of Roy Montgomery. Alexis was quiet. Finally, Kate broke the silence.

"I love your dad very much, Alexis. And I promise, I will take very good care of him when you go away to college." She reached over the table and took Alexis's hand, squeezing it.

Alexis smiled softly, looking at Kate. "Thank you, Kate. But promise me you'll take care of yourself, too, okay? I know you where having a hard time a few months ago, and you don't have to tell me what was going on, but it sounded bad."

Kate nodded. "I will. And you take care of yourself at college! Don't drink…don't have sex with strange boys, blah blah blah…," She blushed. "I don't really know how to this… give motherly advice. "

Alexis grinned. "It's okay. You know me, I wouldn't do anything immature or reckless."

"Well, try to have some fun. Be young while you can! Just don't go too wild…."

Alexis laughed. "Got it."

The waiter came and they ordered their food. While they waited, they talked about lots of things. Where Alexis's friends were going to college, the silly pranks Kate pulled on Ryan and Esposito, favorite music, embarrassing stories about Rick… Kate felt a sense of nostalgia for her own mother, but not in a sad way. In a happy way. Spending time with Alexis made Kate feel like she wasn't damaged, like after everything she had been through, she could still be important to someone. She could still be loved.

* * *

What do you think? I always feel like I write Alexis a bit OOC... Anyway, please leave your feedback! is Alexis too OOC? Are Rick & Kate too lovey-dovey? Are they not lovey-dovey enough? :)


	10. Chapter 10

2 chapters in one day! DOn't you guys love when people do that? ;) Anyway, this chapter is a bit short. And I know I keep sending Martha off to Paris, and the Hamptons, and spa retreats. I promise she will make an appearance soon, along with the boys at the Precinct. Enjoy & review!

* * *

It was the end of March when Rick disappeared into his office. He emerged two days later on a Tuesday afternoon, walking into the living room in a daze. Kate and Alexis were playing Clue and when Rick entered, Kate jumped up.

"Have you been in there for 2 whole days?"

Rick nodded silently. Kate turned to Alexis with a look of shock on her face as Rick ambled into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"He probably finished the book," Alexis explained. "He always gets like this when he finishes a book. He disappears, then emerges a few days later."

Kate went into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Rick, honey? You okay?"

He nodded very slowly, then said, "Sleep. Need it."

Alexis just laughed and got up. "Kate, I'm going to go work on my homework. Wanna finish up later?"

"Sure, Alexis. I think your dad needs some help getting in bed."

Alexis nodded and headed upstairs, yelling down to her dad, "Dad, cut it out! You're scaring Kate!"

Kate looked confused. "What…?"

Rick grinned and kissed her cheek. "I'm not a zombie. Just seriously sleep and caffeine-deprived. And Kate-deprived." He leaned in for another kiss and she slapped his shoulder.

"Castle!"

He laughed and picked her up, bringing her onto the couch. The second he put her down, she started wrestling him.

"I can't believe you hid in the office for _two straight days_ and didn't even come out once! I knew you were working, but I figured you were getting in bed late every night, and I was missing you! And that you were coming out to eat or get coffee while I was at work!"

He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, then started to tickle her.

"Dammit, Rick! I've feeling totally ignored by you for the past – ahh! Stop it!"

She started to giggle like crazy and squirm even more. Castle stopped tickling her and kissed her face all over. She waited until he was distracted, then looped her ankles around him and flipped him so she was on top.

"Mhmmm, I'm sorry, baby," Rick said, burying his face in her neck. "I just wanted to finish the book, so I could spend the next week with you before the book tour."

Kate groaned. "I forgot about the book tour," she said, frowning and sitting up. "You're going to be gone for a month!"

He sat next to her and took her hand in his. "But the first few days will be here in the city, and then 3 weeks later you'll join me in California."

"I know," she mumbled. "I just… for some reason, I feel really emotional. I just don't want to sleep in our bed without you every night."

Rick looked surprised. "Why Kate Beckett, you sound like you are in love."

She smiled and leaned her forehead up against his. "Very much so."

He kissed her softly, and she kissed back. It was different than the hot and heavy makeouts they usually had to make up for a fight, even a small one. The gentle, loving kiss escalated, and it didn't take long for Rick to sweep Kate up in his arms and carry her to their bedroom. They kissed for a while, laying next to each other on the bed. They went slow, and thirty minutes later, Kate was lying on her back in her bra and jeans, and Rick was wearing his boxers and a white t-shirt.

"We'll Skype everyday," he promised her, kissing each the tops of her breasts. She smiled.

"And no more signing body parts?"

"Not even a hand, " he said, holding up 3 fingers. "I swear."

She bit her lip and kissed him again, running her fingers through his hair.

"You know, I haven't signed a lot of body parts since I met you."

She smiled. "Really?"

"Yep," he said proudly, stroking her cheek.

She lowered her eyelids sexily and reached into her jeans pocket, pulling out the pen she had been using earlier to mark her Clue card. She waved it in front of his face.

"Not even mine?," she asked coyly. His eyes widened and he took the pen.

"Well, anything for such a big fan…. Where would you like it?"

Kate sat up and undid her bra, tossing it on the floor. "Guess."

xxxx

Kate woke up three hours later with a pillow over her chest. She looked up in confusion at Rick, who was sitting next to her in bed, playing with his iPhone. His hair was wet and he was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt. He looked down at her and smiled.

"After our autograph session, the phone rang, and when I got back from answering, you were asleep. I didn't want to wake you."

She sat up, the pillow falling into her lap. "I fell asleep?"

He nodded and set his iPhone on his bedside table. "Yep."

Kate stood up and walked over to the mirror inside the closet. Right above her bullet wound, Rick's loopy signature in black pen was slightly smudged, but still visible. She laughed to herself. Rick came to stand behind her, putting his hands around his waist.

"You should get that tattooed there," he joked.

She shook her head. "No way. Plus, you've seen my one tattoo."

He nodded. "Yup. And that's why Alexis is never getting a tattoo."

"Awww," she said, turning around and putting her arms around his neck. "Aren't you a cute protective dad."

"Yes, I am. Which is why I put that pillow over your chest."

"She came in here?," Kate gaped, her face turning red.

"Yeah, but I had a blanket over you too," Rick said, kissing Kate's hair. "About half an hour ago, she came in to let me know that she was going to a movie and then out to dinner with some friends."

"So we have the house to ourselves?"

"Yep. Mother left for Paris early this morning, so it's just us for the next few hours."

Kate grinned and unbuttoned her jeans, kicking them off into the closet. "Well then, come here, Writer Man. If you're going to be gone for a month, I'm going need to take as much of you as I can get."

Rick laughed as she pulled him to the bed. "No complaints here."

"Good," Kate said, kissing him hungrily. Rick pulled off his shirt, and they were in the same situation they had been in a few hours before.

xxxx

Unfortunately, the end of March came quickly, and Rick's last appearance in New York was over. Kate and Alexis kissed and hugged him goodbye outside the loft, where a cab was waiting to take him to JFK so he could be in Chicago by nighttime.

"Bye, dad," Alexis said, hugging him. "Have fun!"

"I will, pumpkin," he said, kissing her hair. When it was Kate's turn, she just bit her lip and looked at the pavement. Rick pulled her into his arms and she squeezed back tightly.

"You and me, Los Angeles. 2 weeks," he whispered in her ear. She nodded. "I know… I just…. "

"I know," he said, taking her face in his hands and kissing her passionately. "I love you," he whispered to her, leaning his forehead on hers. "More than anything in the world. Always."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Always."

Alexis and Kate waved at the cab until it disappeared from sight, then Kate put her arm around Alexis's shoulder and they walked to the elevator. When they got back to the loft, Kate felt lonely. The place seemed so empty without Rick's 9-year-old-on-a-sugar-rush energy.

"Kate?," Alexis asked. "Once you realize how peaceful it is without him around, you'll be in heaven."

Kate smiled weakly and laughed. But the thing was, she didn't want peaceful anymore. She just wanted Rick, in their bed, in her arms, making her laugh with his conspiracy theories and childlike antics.

"Alexis, I have some work to do. Chinese for dinner in 2 hours?"

"Sounds good," Alexis smiled. "I'll work on my AP Literature essay."

The second Kate had closed the bedroom door behind her, she jumped onto the bed and hugged Rick's pillow to her chest. She had made the mistake of letting him walk away months ago, and once she had him back, she had been dependent on him. She grabbed her day planner out of her purse to check what day her flight to LA was, when she had a realization. She dropped the planner in horror and sunk onto her knees.

_Shit._

* * *

Dun dun dun...If you've read my other stories, you may know where this is headed... guesses?


	11. Chapter 11

Last chapter's cliffhanger will be resolved! On another note, there are only 3 or 4 chapters left... would you like to see a third story? :) Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning, she was getting dressed for work when Rick Skyped her. She answered, and his grinning face came onto her phone screen.

"Hey honey!"

She waved. "Hey there."

Rick squinted. "Are you okay, sweetheart? You look a little tired."

Kate shook her head. "Nope. I'm okay. "

He wasn't falling for it. "You've got a lot of makeup on under those pretty eyes of yours, Kate Beckett. How late you were up last night?"

"Late enough."

Rick sighed and let it go. "So, how's it going at work?"

"Fine," Kate said, trying to sound casual. "You know, murderers never sleep. I actually have to be at an autopsy in fifteen minutes, so I have to go. Sorry."

"It's okay, " Rick said, looking a little confused. She had basically just blown him off after only thirty seconds of conversation. "I love you, Kate."

"I love you too."

The second she hung up, she collapsed onto the bed and started to cry. This sucked.

She arrived at the morgue a few minutes early. Lanie saw her and immediately noticed something was wrong.

"Where's your coffee?"

"No Rick," Kate said plainly, running her shaking fingers through her hair.

"Kate, what's wrong?," Lanie asked soothingly, putting her hand on Kate's arm. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Lanie, I….. I think I'm pregnant," she said slowly, staring at the floor. After a few seconds, she looked back up at her friend.

Lanie stared at her, eye wide. "Are you sure?"

Kate rubbed her eyes. "I don't know... I'm late, and I've been really emotional lately. I've been crying a lot…. And… and Rick isn't here. He's in Chicago! And tomorrow night he'll be in Charlotte! And I need him, Lanie. I fall apart whenever he's gone."

Lanie hugged Kate. "It's okay, honey. You got me. We'll figure this out. Have you taken a test yet?"

Kate shook her head. "No."

Lanie pulled back, and stroked Kate's hair. "We'll take one, okay? I'm sure you're not pregnant. I mean, you're on birth control, right?"

"Yes," Kate said. She sighed. "But I needed a refill, and I forgot to get it. I accidentally took 2 days off."

"Oh, sweetie," Lanie said with concern, hugging her friend again. "Let's go take an early lunch and figure this out."

Lanie bought the pregnancy test, because Kate was too freaked out to, and they went to Lanie's place in case Alexis came home. Before Kate went into the bathroom, Lanie squeezed her hand.

"Kate, it's gonna be okay. I'm here for you. Javi and Ryan too, if they need to be."

Kate nodded and took a deep breath. She was scared that she might be pregnant, but she was also very unsettled at her own behavior. She was never this emotional and weak, and it scared her more than a baby did. Of course, it occurred to her that the two things could go hand-in-hand.

She sat down on the toilet and took the test. While she waited for the results, she washed her hands and leaned against Lanie's bathroom counter, trying to take deep, calming breathes and think of something that relaxed her. Rick's face came to mind, and suddenly she missed him like crazy. She started to sob, tears blurring together in her eyes. Lanie must have heard her, because she opened the bathroom door and rushed in.

"Kate? Are you okay?"

Kate nodded and wiped her eyes with her sweater sleeve. "I was just… thinking about Rick. I miss him."

"Did you check the test?"

"Not yet," Kate whispered, her stomach twisting into knots. Lanie squeezed her hand.

"Need a minute?"

"No," Kate shook her head. She held tightly to Lanie's hand and used her other to pick up the test. "I need you. I need a friend."

She held it out for both of them to see. A small blue minus sign, like a light at the end of the tunnel, sat in the middle of the white oval. Kate started to laugh and cry with happiness, throwing her arms around Lanie. They embraced for almost two minutes, laughing and crying and smiling.

"You should make an appointment with your doctor just to double-check, but I think you're good," Lanie said, wiping her eyes. She laughed again.

"Thank God, honey. Can you imagine a young Castle right now?"

Kate smiled and tugged on her hair, feeling relived and happy. But at the same time, a little Castle didn't sound so bad. Someday. But not today.

xxxx

Four days later, Kate had checked with her doctor, who confirmed she was not pregnant and helped her get her birth control back on track. She didn't tell Alexis about the scare, because there was no need to. They just hung out, eating takeout for dinner and sharing stories about their days. They watched a chick flick every night, and snuggled under a big blanket.

But something was nagging at Kate in the back of her mind. Didn't Rick deserve to know what had happened? She could have been pregnant with his child. And he was such a good guy, so caring and sweet. He didn't deserve her distant attitude. She didn't want to tell him over the phone, because knowing Rick, he would be confused and he would want to work through it together. And she did too. So the second she wrapped her most recent case, she told Alexis she needed to go to Houston to see Castle for a few days because she missed him. Alexis's response was, "That's really sweet, how much you guys love each other. Go, I'll be fine."

Kate had felt uneasy. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Alexis grinned, hugging her. "Go, Kate!"

xxxx

When Kate arrived in Houston, she used her charming smile, sexy voice, and badge to get the concierge to let her into Rick's room. She had read in the newspaper on the cab ride from the airport that Rick would be at a Barnes & Noble in downtown Houston, starting at 6 pm. It was 7:30 now, so she pulled her advance copy of Frozen Heat out of her bag and picked up where she had left off on the plane.

She must have gotten lost in the book, because what felt like only fifteen minutes later, she heard a key card go in the lock and a click. She tossed the book on the ground and sat up on the bed, turning to face the door.

Rick came in with his hand on his face, rubbing his eyes. The poor guy looked very weary, it seemed asking, "And your name is?" and hearing the same comment about his work hundreds of times could get pretty boring, even for a guy who loved praise. He moved his hand from his face and saw Kate.

"Kate?," he asked, his eyes widening. "You almost gave me a heart attack! What are you doing here?"

She stood up and took a few steps toward him.

"I had to tell you something in person," she said, swallowing. He looked worried.

"You're kinda freaking me out, honey."

"Sorry," Kate said, tugging on her hair. She took a deep breath. "I…We had a… a pregnancy scare."

Rick put his hand on his chest and sat down the bed. "What?"

She sat beside him. "I thought I was pregnant. I'm not, though. But I thought you should know. I felt bad not telling you."

"How long ago?"

"Just a few days. I wanted to check with my doctor. I'm so sorry, Rick." She took his hand and squeezed it.

"Why are you sorry?," he asked her, looking into her eyes. "Honey, I don't want kids if you don't. Alexis is perfect, so I might not have any good genes left anyway." He smiled, trying to ease the tension.

"I do," Kate said. "I do want kids. Being with Alexis so much over the past 2 months has made me realize that. But not yet. I just... I can't do it right now."

"You don't have to," Rick said soothingly, stroking her hair. "When you're ready, if you ever are, we'll talk about it. There's no pressure."

"I know, Rick, but I when I thought I was... pregnant, I was so scared. Because it's too soon. I'm still damaged, a total mess, and I need to recover. But I want to recover, so we can have a family someday. I just... I still feel frustrated and exhausted half the time. I cried almost every day you were gone, because I felt helpless without you there to support me. I was lost. And that's not healthy," Kate whispered, her voice raspy. Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. "I'm not healthy."

She started to sob, and Rick hugged her close to him, kissing her hair and rocking her back and forth.

"Yes you are, baby. You're doing so much better. And I'm proud of you."

"Rick, you're gone for 5 days and I fall apart. That's not right."

"It just means you love me. A lot," he said with a smile. "Want to know a secret? I cried a little bit in the cab on the way to the airport."

She pulled back and stared at him in disbelief. "No, you didn't."

"Yup. I got all choked up and when the driver asked what was wrong, I said allergies. I cried for a couple minutes, in bed, a few nights ago. Because I haven't slept without you in close to nine months."

Kate smiled a little. "We're just both a mess, aren't we?"

"Yep. But you're the most beautiful mess I've ever seen."

Kate laughed. She leaned against his chest and sighed. Rick stroked her hair, pushing it away from her face.

"I'm sorry you had to go though all this alone, honey. I wish I had been there."

"Rick, it's okay. I love you very much, but love on it's own can't conquer. I need to continue working hard to get better, and some of that has to be on my own."

"That's a very brave thing to say, Kate," he said, kissing her cheek. "Hey, you bring a bag with you?"

"Yep. I have a change of clothes and a toothbrush, etc."

"So you can spend the night?," he asked with a smile. "My bed, or beds, rather, have been quite empty without you."

She smiled back and placed a quick yet passionate kiss on his lips. "I would love to."

xxxx

The next morning, Kate was happy to see Rick's face on the pillow next to hers when she opened her eyes.

"Hey," she whispered softly, leaning forward to give him a light kiss on the lips. He kissed back and pulled her next to him, letting her snuggle into his shoulder.

"Feeling better?," he asked, kissing her hair. She nodded.

"Much better. And I have an appointment with in 2 days, so I'm going to talk to him about why I've been so up-and-down lately."

"Since we know you're not pregnant," Rick said quietly, rubbing her stomach. She put her hand on his.

"Yeah. Rick, about that…. You know that I want to have kids someday, right?"

"Of course, honey," he said, looking her in the eyes. "But like I said, no pressure, no timetable. When _you're_ ready."

"Wow, I have such a great boyfriend," Kate said. "He writes books about me, doesn't pressure me about sex or kids, and has a kick-ass loft. You should meet him someday," she said to Rick, a twinkle in her eye.

Rick mock-gasped. "Oh, it's on." He started to tickle Kate mercilessly, pulling off her shirt for easier access to her stomach and neck. She shrieked and started to giggle and laugh until she cried. Rick finally surrendered, laying his head on her stomach and laughing as well.

"I love you, Kate Beckett. You know that, right?"

She smiled and wiped some tears from her eyes. "Uh huh. I love you too, babe."

"So then you know I hate to say that your plane leaves in...," he sat up and grabbed his phone from the bedside table. "Two and a half hours. We gotta get you to the airport."

Kate pouted and then picked up her shirt from the corner of the bed where Rick had take it off and tossed it across the room. She brushed her hair off her shoulders, and smiled at him sexily while subtly sticking out her chest. He sighed.

"You don't make this easy on me, honey, but I don't want you to miss your flight," he said, getting up and going over to the bag Kate had brought with her. He pulled out a pair of skinny cargoes and a loose black t-shirt and tossed them to her, along with her black lace bra. She laughed and started to get dressed.

"I tried," she called to him as he went into the bathroom. He laughed. Yes, she certainly did.


	12. Chapter 12

Oh, how I've missed the boys! So glad to bring them back :) Please enjoy and review!

* * *

Kate had been home for 2 days and was missing Rick again. But no in the crazy, weeping-mess-unable-to-sleep way she had been before she had flown to see him. Just regular old heartache.

Her appointment with was in the afternoon, so she went into the Precinct early in the morning to get some work in. She had only been at her desk for a few minutes before Ryan appeared, wheeling his chair over to her and giving her that sweet, concerned look.

"Hey, Becks."

She smiled. Ryan was like the younger brother she never had. "Hey, Ryan."

"So... how are you? You were gone for a few days."

"I had some stuff to work out… I flew to Houston to see Castle, actually."

Ryan was just about to say something when Esposito came over to her desk, holding a paper bag. He dropped the bag on her desk and sat in the chair across from her.

"So, what's up? Lanie mentioned you two taking an early lunch a few days ago."

Kate grinned at the smell of sugar, and opened the bag to take out a donut. Yumm, chocolate glaze. Espo was like the older brother she never had. More blunt and protective, less sweet and gentle. And he was better at sensing her weaknesses.

Ryan grabbed a donut from the bag and chewed on it happily.

"She went to see Castle." He seemed proud of the fact that he knew this little piece of information and Esposito didn't.

Esposito ignored Ryan's smug grin and raised his eyebrows. "Trouble in paradise?"

Kate laughed. "Nope. Just missed him."

Ryan smiled. "That's how it was for me last week when Jenny was at her college roommate's wedding."

Esposito just snorted, made a whip noise, and returned to his desk. Ryan quickly squeezed Kate's hand. "Good to have you back."

She smiled. "Good to be back. But hey, I have to leave at 2 for an hour, okay? I'll be back."

Ryan didn't even question it. "Sounds good. Javi and I have to go question a suspect, want to come?"

Kate nodded and grabbed her coat, standing up. "Let's go."

xxxx

Kate arrived at Dr. Burke's office a few minutes early, so she sat in the waiting room and fidgeted.

"Kate."

She looked up from her lap at the door, where stood. She got up and walked through the door.

"So, Kate, how are you feeling this week?"

Kate bit her lip and leaned forward on the couch. "Not great. I actually had a bit of a mental breakdown last week."

"Oh? Why?"

"I thought," she paused. "I thought I was pregnant, and it scared me. Rick left for his book tour last week, and immediately after he left I got very sad, and I missed him a lot. I was crying a lot. And a day or so later, I realized I might be pregnant."

"Did it scare you because Rick wasn't there with you, or because you don't think you are ready to be a mother?"

She thought about that for a second. "Both, I guess. I mean, it drove me crazy not having him to hold my hand while I broke down and had to take a test and then check with the doctor. But I had my good friend Lanie with me, and she is very supportive."

"But I used to think I wouldn't be a good mother. Not because mine didn't teach me anything, she taught me a lot. I just didn't want to trouble a kid with wondering if I would come home every night. Being a cop can be dangerous, and I admit I've gotten into a few situations that were reckless and could have ended badly."

He studied her. "But that's not all, is it?"

Kate sighed. "No. I'm just afraid that I can't handle it. I've been so up-and-down lately, so unpredictable. I've always been able to take care of myself, and suddenly I'm needy and I dissolve into tears the first night Rick isn't in bed with me. I just want to have a stable environment for a child. Spending so much time with Rick's daughter, Alexis, has shown me that I really do want children. I just want to be a good mother, and I don't know if I can be."

"Kate, it sounds like what you're describing is mild depression. These feeling of being up and down, needy, sensitive - these are all common symptoms of depression. It's not uncommon for people with PTSD to develop some depression while dealing with their issues and coming to terms with their trauma - this is natural. In fact, it's often expected."

Kate looked at him, shocked. "Really?"

He nodded and smiled. "Yes. Don't worry, you're not crazy! The good news is, if you feel it's necessary, I can prescribe you a low dose of an antidepressant. And you and I can continue to work on your PTSD, in addition to the depression."

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, please. That would be great."

"Okay," he said, making a note on the clipboard sitting next to him. "Now, how did Rick react to the news?"

"He was mainly worried about me, and that I had to go through it alone. He made a point to tell me that we don't need to have a family until I'm ready, if I even want one at all. He was sweet and loving, as always."

'That's good. And you do want a family?"

"Yes, I'm almost sure of it now. A few years down the road, when Rick and I are married and ready…"

"So you think that you and Rick will eventually get married?"

Kate smiled at him. "Yes, I do. A year ago, I didn't think it was possible, but we love each other so much and we just work, you know? Everything isn't perfect between us, but it's pretty damn close."

xxxx

When Kate got home, Alexis was in the kitchen, making dinner. She smiled when she saw Kate, and handed her a glass of iced tea over the kitchen counter.

"Thanks, Alexis," Kate said with a smile, sitting on a barstool. "What are you making?"

"Tomato soup and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. A welcome-back-Kate dinner."

Kate laughed. "I was only gone 24 hours!"

"I know. But I wanted to do something fun and special tonight. Thanks for the note, by the way."

"No problem," Kate said, sipping her tea. She had left a note on the counter before she went to work this morning telling Alexis she was back and would be home before 8 pm. "So what else is special about tonight?"

"Well, Gram wanted us to come see her play, in which she plays an old beggar woman with 8 lines, but I told her we were busy and instead set up 'Bridesmaids' on the projector in dad's office with Netflix streaming. After dinner, we can make milkshakes and popcorn and sit on his office couch and laugh our butts off."

Kate smiled. "That sounds pretty perfect." She was in awe of how kind Alexis was, welcoming Kate into her home and hanging out with her. She was almost starting to feel like Alexis's mom, in a way.

Alexis served dinner and asked how Houston was, and Kate told her that it was fun and she had gotten to watch Rick's crazy fans in action – a tiny lie, since she hadn't been anywhere but his hotel room. But she didn't want to complicate things.

"So, getting ready to graduate?," she asked Alexis, tearing off a piece of her sandwich and dunking it in the soup. Alexis nodded vigorously.

"Yes! I'm ready to start experiencing the real world – and live on my own! Not that I don't love living here with you and my dad, " she added hastily.

"It's okay, Alexis. I know your dad may say otherwise, but I think it's good for people your age to move out and start learning how to be independent – and God knows you're more responsible than your father half the time." She winked and Alexis laughed. "But you will always be welcome back here."

"Thanks, Kate," Alexis said. "It does kinds suck that we're becoming so close and then I'm going to have to leave."

"But not for a few months," Kate said, finishing up her soup. She was touched that Alexis thought it would suck to not see her everyday. "For now, we have movie marathons and popcorn!"

Alexis grinned. "I'll do the popcorn, you do the milkshakes?"

Kate nodded. "Deal."

xxxx

The next morning, Kate was sitting in bed in her pajama pants and Rick's red t-shirt, listening to Jack White and watching the rain pour outside the bedroom window. _Here comes spring_, she thought. Spring always made her think of her mom, who used to sing "Here Comes the Sun" to her every afternoon when they walked home from her elementary school. She would point out all the flowers starting to bloom, and tell Kate that with a little more rain and sunshine, they would be beautiful and colorful.

"Kate?"

Kate looked at the doorway. Alexis was standing there, in scrubs and sneakers, dressed for her internship with Lanie.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Of course, " Kate said, leaning over to press the pause on her iPhone and patting the bed next to her. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about college," Alexis said, sitting down next to Kate on the bed. "I know last night we talked about me always being welcome back here, and everything. I applied to a few colleges close by, including Columbia, and I'm not sure if I can go anywhere in the state. I want to be able to live my own life independently, like you said, without my dad wanting to hold on. And I know it's because he loves me…." She trailed off. "I just don't know what to do."

Kate put her hand on Alexis's. "Alexis, it's totally natural to go through this. Wanting the right balance in your life, figuring out how to be independent. Choose a school based solely on you, and what you want. And the rest will work itself out."

Alexis smiled, but still looked like something was bothering her. Kate crinkled her nose and made a disgusted face.

"Eww, sorry. That wasn't very good advice. Kind of cliché, actually. "

"No, no, it was good!," Alexis said, smiling at Kate. "I'm just gonna miss this. My dad, you. It's been so nice having you around. You're good for him, and you're pretty great in general."

Kate laughed and leaned over to hug Alexis. "Thanks, Alexis. You're pretty great yourself."

They pulled apart and Alexis moved closer to Kate on the bed, leaning against her shoulder.

"Hey, and if your dad can't let go and it's bordering on stalker, we'll just have our own kid so he has something else to worry about," Kate joked, running her fingers through Alexis long red hair. Alexis smiled and laughed.

"That would actually be pretty cool."

"Yeah, you would be a kick-ass older sister," Kate said, mussing Alexis's hair and sitting up. "Hey, I gotta go to work, sorry. I would like nothing more than to sit here with you all day and chat."

Alexis grinned. "It's okay. I have to get going too, I have to be at the morgue in half an hour."

"Hey, give me fifteen and I'll take you!," Kate said cheerfully. "I just gotta get dressed."

"Perfect!"

xxxx

After Kate dropped Alexis at the morgue, she got a text from Ryan about a lead on 59th and Lex. On her way to meet him, she stopped at the pharmacy near Dr. Burke's office and picked up her prescription. He had suggested she start with half of an antidepressant pill once a day, and she was willing to do anything to get better and be herself again. She buried the bottle deep in her purse, and hit the gas.

When she arrived at the apartment building, Ryan greeted her with a warm smile before telling her who they were about to talk to.

"Mallory Wells, sister of Annabeth Stone, our victim. Mallory may have been the last person to see her sister alive, they had drinks two nights ago at the Harvard Club. Annabeth was found strangled in her bed the next morning. "

Kate nodded. Family was always the hardest to talk to.

"Does she have an alibi?"

"Yes, she left for a red-eye flight to D.C. to visit an old friend a few hours after she saw her sister. Witnesses saw her board the plane at JFK and arrive at Dulles."

"Okay," Kate said. She took a deep breath and opened the building door. Ryan was just a step behind her when his phone rang. He glances at the screen and said, "I gotta take this. I'll be right up."

Kate gave him a thumbs-up and went into the building. Ryan took a few steps away from the door and answered.

"Hey, what's up?..."

xxxx

"So… what do you think?"

"I don't know man, it's a big step. Are you ready?"

"Yes!," Rick said, bouncing off his hotel room bed and take a swig of water from the bottle sitting on his night table.

"Well, I think that if you're ready, she probably is too. You guys are pretty in sync, more than is normal for even the closest of couples."

Rick grinned. "Then I'm gonna do it. Hey speaking of… _the thing_… how's Jenny?"

"Castle, you're not gonna jinx it."

"I don't care," he insisted. "I'm a superstitious guy."

"Fine," Ryan sighed. "She's great. We've been having a really serious conversation lately about when we want to start trying to have a baby."

"Wow, that's big news. Where do you stand?"

"Honestly? I really want a family, I do. I'm just worried about my job. It would be tough on us, balancing my crazy hours and a pregnancy, and then a baby."

"That is hard. Imagine how Kate felt when she thought she was pregnant." The second it slipped out of his mouth, he realized he made a big mistake. Rick hit his head against his wall, then rubbed his temples.

"Kate thought she was….."

"Ryan, you have to keep that a secret. We didn't even tell Alexis! Only Lanie knows."

"Okay," Ryan said, swallowing, He wasn't the world's best liar. He glanced at the door Kate had gone through about ten minutes ago. "Hey, Castle, I gotta go. Beckett will be wondering where I am. Good luck with everything."

"Thanks, man. I'll buy you a drink at The Old Haunt when I get back from the tour," Castle said with a smile.

Ryan smiled too. "Deal."


	13. Chapter 13

Okay, just a few more chapters left! Which raises the question: should the story continue? I am happy to write a third as long as you guys are happy to read it :) Please leave a review telling me what you would like to see Rick & Kate do together - marriage, kids, travel, etc. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

A week later, Kate was packing her bag to meet Rick in LA, excited to see his face again. She pulled up the weather forecast for LA and saw that it was _much_ nicer than New York currently was. As she went through her drawers, she came across the swimsuit she had worn last time she and Rick were in LA. She smiled to herself and packed it, along with a plain black bikini that showed off her flat, toned stomach.

"Kate?"

"In here, Alexis!," Kate yelled. "I'm packing!"

Alexis came into the room holding a pile of clothes. "I was just folding laundry and thought you might want some of this stuff."

"Thanks," Kate said with a smile, taking the pile from Alexis. Suddenly, the bedroom door slammed shut violently, and Kate jumped. The pile of neatly folded clothes fell on to the bed in a messy heap as Kate dropped to the floor and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Kate? Are you okay?," Alexis asked concernedly, kneeling down next to Kate. Kate cracked an eye open and looked around the room.

She felt like she was underwater: everything was moving in slow-motion and Alexis sounded like she was speaking a word a minute. For a second, her vision blurred and her hand went to her chest, clutching the area where her bullet wound was. She was panting slightly, and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

"I'm…. yeah, I'm fine..," Kate said slowly. Alexis held her hand out and helped Kate up, sitting her on the bed. Alexis sat next to Kate, still holding her hand.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Kate nodded and used her free hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Yeah, I just… got startled."

"Yeah, the wind is blowing pretty hard outside. Maybe we should close the window. I think the wind coming through it is why the door slammed." Alexis stood up and crossed the room to close the large window facing the bed. Kate didn't know what to say next, so she remained silent. Alexis came back to her and asked if she needed anything, and she shook her head. The second Alexis left, she texted Rick.

Kate: Just had a freaky PTSD moment.

Rick: What happened?

Kate: A door slammed and I dropped to the floor. Then everything got fuzzy for a minute or 2. But I'm okay, I promise.

Rick: Where are you?

Kate: Home. I'm packing. Alexis was with me, she was concerned.

Rick: Are you sure you're okay? Kate, I'm worried.

Kate heard a knock at the door. A few seconds later, Alexis entered, holding a glass of water.

"I know you said you didn't need anything, but…." She handed the glass to Kate.

"Thanks," Kate said, taking a sip. Alexis left again, and Kate replied to Rick's text.

Kate: I know. But I'm okay, I promise. Alexis took good care of me.

Rick: Good. Can't wait to see you

Kate: 2 days… I can't wait either

Rick: Got us the same hotel room.

Kate: Oh, so I can have my own bed? ;)

Rick: Oh, ha ha. Not a chance.

Kate: :)

Rick: Hey, baby, I gotta go. Interview with a blogger. Love you so so so much, I'll be waiting for you at LAX in 2 days

Kate: And 3 hours.

Rick: And 3 hours. Love you, my darling.

Kate: Love you too 3

Kate smiled and tossed her phone on the bed. All she had left to pack was a toothbrush and some sexy lingerie, and she would be ready to board her plane. But she still had 2 days to go crazy at the Precinct, counting down the hours.

A day later, Kate was squirming at her desk. She had a few hours left to work, then she would go home, sleep late, and board her 1 pm (NYC time) flight to LA.

"Hey, Becks, got the paperwork for that Stone case." Ryan dropped a file on her desk.

She sighed. "Okay, thanks."

Ryan sat in Castle's chair next to her desk, a silly grin on his face. "Itching to get on the plane?"

She laughed and nodded. "Yep."

Ryan smiled. "Trust me, I know the feeling. Anxious, unable to sit still, butterflies in your stomach."

Kate looked at him. "Yeah, exactly!"

Ryan squeezed her hand then stood up. "It means you're head over heels in love. Falling in love maes you a different, better version of yourself. It's how I feel when I look at Jenny. I was so anxious once I decided to propose to her. I was restless from the time I bought that ring to the moment she said yes, right here in the precinct."

Kate smiled. "That's so sweet, Ryan. Jenny's a lucky girl."

"And Castle's a lucky guy," Ryan said with a wink.

"Ryan!," Esposito yelled across the bullpen. "We got a body! 17th and Madison!"

Ryan looked at Kate. "You want in?"

"Nope! I am not getting involved in anything. I got 4 hours left. Just call me if you need anything."

"Okay. If I don't see you, have a great trip."

Kate smiled. "Thanks."

She watched Ryan and Espo leave the precinct, for the first time in her life not feeling that desire to solve a case, to catch the killer. All she wanted was to be in LA. She was feeling exactly what Ryan described, times a thousand.

xxxx

"Welcome to Los Angeles. It's a warm, sunny 79 degrees, so I hope you brought your swim suits. Have a safe trip."

Kate had been nervously playing with her hair for the last thirty minutes, and she jumped up the second the other passengers started to stand. She reached into her purse and pulled out her phone to turn it on. She grinned when she saw that she had 3 texts.

Alexis: Hope you had a safe flight! Grams and I miss you, say hi to dad for us!

Ryan: Our newest suspect is a writer – Castle's gonna hate missing this one! Have great trip!

Lanie: Safe flight, honey. Don't forget to call me w/ all the details! ;)

She replied to all of them, thanking them for the well wishes and asking Ryan not to tell Castle yet, because he would protest the writer's innocence. Then she waited patiently to get off the plane, shuffling down the aisle with the rest of the eager passengers.

When Kate came walked out into the terminal, she remembered the last time she was in LAX.

"_Beckett, don't worry, I've got it covered."_

"_Under the radar, Castle. We're not supposed to be here, remember?"_

_Castle grinned at her and put his hand on the small of her back, leading her towards the area of the airport where all the car rental companies were. _

"_Don't worry, Beckett. I know how to fit in around here."_

She smiled to herself. Of course Rick's idea of blending in had been a red Ferrari. What else would it been? The man did not know how to be subtle. You could pick him out of a crowd in a second…

"Kate!"

She looked around her, trying to find the voice that called her name. And suddenly she saw him. A bouquet of red roses in his hand, a huge grin plastered on his handsome face. Her eye lit up and she grinned, walking towards him, faster and faster until she was practically running. She dropped her purse on the floor and threw her arms around him. He kissed her hair and hugged her tightly.

"God, I've missed you."

"I've missed you more," she whispered, taking his face in her hands and kissing him. When they broke apart, Castle picked up her purse and put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his side as they walked towards baggage claim.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't have the Ferrari this time. I'm just using a car service."

Kate threw her head back and laughed. She smiled at Rick.

"I'm so glad I'm here."

"I'm glad you're here too, baby," he said, placing a kiss on his cheek. "I am so, so glad."

Back at the hotel, Kate and Rick sat on the couch, the very same one he had told her he thought she was a mystery he was never going to solve. She filled him in on the last 2 weeks since she had flown to see him spur-of-the-moment: all of the bonding she and Alexis had been doing, her new medication, her review of Frozen Heat. He told her all about his signings, how Paula was driving him up a wall and how Gina had convinced Paula to space out the LA signings so Rick and Kate could spend some time together.

She sat in his lap, staring into his blue eyes.

"These last few weeks gave been so crazy…. I honestly feel like a different person."

"You know, a wise Irish cop once told me that falling in love makes you feel a like a different person, a better version of yourself," Castle said with a wink. He placed a kiss on her lips and stood up, gently puling her with him.

"We have a reservation in an hour at the restaurant downstairs," he said. "And I left a little surprise for you in the closet."

Kate smiled and let go of his hand, walking into their room and over to the closet. She pulled the double doors open and saw a breathtaking, burgundy-colored Herve Leger dress. Under it, a pair of peep-toe black Louboutins sat, just begging to be worn. Her smiled grew wider and she spun around. Castle was grinning at her.

"It was a selfish purchase, really. I get to stare at you in it all night."

Kate kissed his lips tenderly and grabbed the dress and the shoes.

"If you're lucky, to may even get to help me out of it."

She walked into the other bedroom to change and do her makeup, and Castle just stood there, biting his fist. Goddamn, she was sexy. He closed the doors to change into his suit, and dug into the bottom of his suitcase for a small box.

xxxx

Kate was emerged from the second bedroom 40 minutes later, breathtakingly gorgeous in her dress. Her hair was in a curly side ponytail, and she was wearing sparkly Art Deco-inspired earrings. Rick was sitting on the couch, reading emails on his phone. When he saw her, he could have sworn he stopped breathing for a few seconds.

"Wow," he said, standing up and walking over to her. "You look stunning…"

She smiled and blushed, looking at the ground and pushing a stray curl away from her face. Rick took her hands in his.

"Kate, I want you to know how much I love you. Having you in my life truly makes me a better person, and these last 7 months have been really wonderful. Sure, we've had some bad days, but I will always be there for you, even on the worst day. And I'm so glad you're getting better, because that smile looks so damn good on you that it pains me to see you without it."

He kissed her hand. Kate smiled lovingly, taking one of her hands back to place on Rick's cheek.

"I love you too, Rick. And I wouldn't trade these last 7 months for anything in the world."

He grinned. "Good, because I have something to ask you….." He let go of Kate's hand and knelt down on one knee. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, navy blue velvet box. Kate gasped and put a hand on her heart. It was pounding anxiously again, but this time in a good way.

"Katherine Beckett, I used to think you were a mystery I was never going to solve. But you know what? The best mysteries are the ones that are never solved. When the writer is just so clever-" he said this seriously, without making a joke about his own cleverness "- that you never really know who the murderer is. Like at the end of Sherlock Holmes 2, when you think he's dead, and then you realize that no, he's not, and there is that promise of another story. I want to live a hundred stories with you, Kate. I want to wake up next you, and if you promise to love and inspire me for the rest of my life, I promise to be there for you, not matter how crazy the storm. Always. So, Kate Beckett, will you marry me?"

Rick opened the box to show a beautiful diamond ring. It was perfect, not too flashy, with a round diamond in the middle of a thin gold band and a smaller one on each side. Tears gathered in the corners of Kate eyes.

"Rick….. are you sure?"

He smiled. "Of course, Kate. All I want in this world – hell, in this _life_ – is you."

She smiled back and a few tears fell. "Yes!"

"Yes?"

"Yes!," she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and squeezing him tightly. When they broke apart, Rick took Kate's hand and slipped the ring on her finger. Keeping one arm round him, she held out her hand and admired it.

"It's beautiful, Rick. I love it."

He kissed her temple. "And I love you. I figured the most beautiful woman in the world needed a ring that was almost as beautiful as she is."

Kate laughed. "Smooth."

"Oh, I've had that one planned for a while," he said, laughing with her. She leaned against his chest.

"Kate Castle….," she mused, still staring at her ring. "I like the sound of that."

"I l_ove_ the sound of that," Rick said, kissing her hair. She turned to face him, placing her hands on his chest.

"You look rather dapper, honey," Kate said, adjusting his royal blue tie. "Ready to eat?"

"Yes!," He said, taking her hand. "I'm hungry…. And we if stay here any longer, I'm going to have to remove that sexy dress."

* * *

Is it really tooting-my-own-horn if I mention how much I love the line in the proposal about "the promise of another story"? ;) I hope you guys loved reading this chapter as much as I loved writing it! Don't forget to leave your suggestions... just hit "Review" ;)


	14. Chapter 14

Second to last chapter! Sorry it's a bit short... last chapter coming soon! ANd I am still very interested in your feedback for the next story :) Enjoy!

* * *

Kate woke up to Rick smiling at her. It was actually a semi-creepy grin, like a little kid watching cartoons while eating Lucky Charms.

"Hey, darling…." Kate said slowly. "You okay?"

"Yup," he nodded, still grinning weirdly.

"Okay, so why do you have that look on your face?"

Rick stopped grinning and laughed. "I just saw your beautiful face when I woke up and realized that from now on, I get to call you my fiancé… and eventually my wife."

Kate grinned and kissed him. "Sounds good… fiancé."

He took her hand under the covers. "So what do you want to do today? We have the whole day to ourselves."

"Hmmm… I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing you in a really hot bikini," Rick said, his eyes sparkling mischievously. Kate smiled sexily.

"I did bring a bikini... and that swim suit from last time."

Rick grinned and rolled out of bed and onto the floor. Kate laughed.

"What are you doing?"

"We want to make sure we get chairs by the pool!"

He jumped up and went through his half-unpacked bag, tossing out his swim trunks and a white v-neck tee. Kate sat up, the covers falling off of her.

"You can totally go down to the pool that way if you want," Rick said appreciatively, looking at Kate's naked chest. "Unless you want to go for round 2." She blushed. Engagement sex had been pretty awesome.

Kate pulled the covers off and slipped out of bed, walking over to her bag and bending over to find her bikini. Rick whistled, and she pulled the sheet off of the bed and tied it around her body like a towel. She found her bikini and tossed it on the bed. Rick sighed.

"Awwww, why?"

"Because nothing will get done otherwise. Hey, you got me, and my body, for life."

Rick dropped to his knees and pumped his fist. "Yessss!"

They both laughed, and then Kate slipped into her bikini bottoms and Rick went to brush his teeth. She put on her top and looked in the mirror to check her hair. She froze, staring at her chest with pain in her eyes.

"Kate, do you have a tote or something we could put a few things in?"

Kate just stared at herself in the mirror, her heart pounding. Her hand gravitated towards the scar right in between her breasts.

"Kate, honey?"

Rick came out of the bathroom and saw Kate standing in front of the mirror. He rushed to her side.

"Kate, baby, are you okay? What's wrong?"

He saw her hand on her scar and kissed her hair.

"I forgot about it for a while," she said slowly, looking at him in the mirror. "All the pain just went away. For a while, I was completely happy."

"Oh, Kate," he murmured, cupping her chin and turning her head to look at him. "You have no reason to be unhappy. You look beautiful."

Kate sighed. "Do I? Because I kinda look like a war victim."

"In a way, you are. But you won the war, honey. You are alive, and this scar shows that you are strong."

Kate half-smiled. "I guess so. God, you're good at making me feel better."

Rick smiled and bent down to kiss the scar. She hugged him.

"Thanks, Rick."

"Of course, darling. Hey, did you take your meds last night?"

"Damn, no," Kate said, sighing. "I'll go take them now."

"Good," he kissed her on the forehead and then went riffling through his bag again for his sunglasses. "I'm going to pack a bag with some sunscreen, books, etc."

"Okay. Oh, and I do have a tote. Canvas, navy and white stripes, in my suitcase," she said from the bathroom.

Rick smiled. Of course.

Less than forty minutes later, Rick and Kate were stretched out on poolside lounge chairs pushed next to each other, sharing Rick's iPhone earbuds. Kate flipped through the newest issue of _Glamour_, and Rick read a manuscript for a young new author who needed back-of-the-book praise. Kate took her earbud out of her ear and dog-eared the page of the magazine she was reading. She tapped Rick's arm.

"Hey, I'm going to get in the pool. Want to join me?"

"Maybe… I don't look as hot in my swimsuit as you do."

Kate laughed and took off her aviator sunglasses, setting them on her chair. She made sure to walk to the pool very slowly, so that Castle had time to watch her exit.

She dove into the cool, clear water and stayed under for as long as she could before surfacing. She waved at Rick, flashing him her sexy smile. He waved back, then took off his sunglasses and came to the edge of the pool. She swam over to him and bit her lip, because she knew it drove him crazy.

"You're really going to turn down swimming with your hot, wet fiancé?"

Rick shook his head. "No, I don't think I can anymore."

He pulled white v-neck off, tossed it onto his chair a few feet away and slipped into the pool. She grinned and wrapped her legs around his waist, putting her arms around his neck and leaning into him so her nose was touching his. He kissed her passionately, tangling his hands in her wet hair.

"I think swimming is my new favorite sport," he said, the sunshine beating down on them. Kate laughed.

"Me too."

After they swam, Rick and Kate got poolside burgers and Rick finished the book he was supposed to be reviewing while Kate stretched out on her lounge chair and tanned. Then they went back up to their room and got dressed; Kate in a white summer dress and Castle in plaid shorts and a t-shirt. Now they were walking hand in hand on the boardwalk at Santa Monica pier.

Kate adjusted her crocheted bag on her shoulder. "So is this a tour of our epic crime-fighting last year?"

"Did you just say epic? Oh my god, you are so sexy," Rick said, grabbing her face and kissing her fiercely. She grinned and hugged his arm as they kept walking.

"But to answer your question, no, not really. I just think this place is fun. And it gives me the chance to win you a cheap stuffed animal, rom-com style."

Kate laughed again and stared at the beach, with the perfectly blue water lapping at the sand. They sat down on a bench and she leaned into Rick's side. "It's so beautiful here."

"It is," Rick agreed, putting his hand on her thigh. "It makes me feel... I don't know. Young. Like I'm falling in love for the first time."

"Like a romantic comedy," Kate said with happy sigh. "It makes me feel that way too. Romantic and mushy and happy."

They sat there together in silence for a while, watching the kids run around on the beach and build sandcastles, and the young couples making out on their towels.

"I have another present for you," Rick said after a few minutes.

"Rick…"

"No, hear me out. Paula wanted to extend the tour, hit up more of middle America, like Omaha and Kansas City. I told her no. I'm ready to go home, and celebrate my engagement."

Kate smiled and then shook her head. "No, I can't let you do that. You already make too many sacrifices for me."

Rick smiled and stroked her hair. "I did this for us. And I also told her not to release a statement about our engagement until I'm ready. She was pissed, but I promised we could throw a huge party back in New York next week when the book officially goes on sale nationwide."

"Oh, that must have been hard," Kate teased. "I know how you hate parties."

Rick laughed and took her hand, standing up. "So how about that cheap stuffed animal?"

She stood with him and they walked towards the boardwalk. "Sounds good."

xxxx

Three days later, they were back at the same bench, watching the sunset. Kate was wearing a pale pink tank top, denim shorts, and wedges, and it had taken Rick ten minutes to stop staring at her legs while they walked. She had to keep him from almost running into at least 5 people.

"It's even prettier with the sunset," Kate murmured. Rick nodded and pulled her into his lap. "I'm going to miss this gorgeous view."

"Well, we can always get a house down here," Rick said, kissing her cheek. She stared at him.

"I'm only half-joking," he promised, and she just shook her head and laughed.

"Besides," he said, resting his head on her shoulder. "Nothing rivals the view I wake up to every morning. Sparkly green eyes, silky brown hair, soft pink lips, smooth skin…."

Kate kissed him. "My view is pretty good too."

Rick pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked around. Finally, he spotted a woman and man about their age, walking in their direction. He gently pushed Kate off his lap and stood up, waving at them.

"Hey! Excuse me, would you take our picture?"

The woman, a tall African-American girl with beautiful dark curls, nodded and took the phone from him. Rick pulled Kate up and they posed, with Kate leaned into Rick's chest, the sunset as the background. They smiled and the woman said, "Say cheese!"

"Cheeeessee!"

Rick thanked her and she handed his phone back.

"You guys are a beautiful couple," she said, taking her boyfriend's hand and smiling at them.

Kate smiled back. "Thank you. Have a good night."

"You too!"

Kate and Rick looked at the picture. They looked happy and in love.

"That's a really good picture," Kate said. Rick nodded.

"Engagement announcement?"

"Good idea!," she said, taking his hand as they walked back up to the pier. They started walking back at their hotel, stopping at an outdoor bar for drinks. While Kate sipped her margarita, Rick sent an email to all their friends and family on his phone with the picture, a caption under it saying:

_Maybe they should call L.A. the city of love….. we're engaged! We can't wait to share this special day with all of you. See you when we get home._

_XO, Rick & Kate_

Kate grinned when she saw the message. "That's cute." Rick nodded in agreement, hit send, and took a swig of his beer.

"It's so weird… I never pictured myself as the engagement announcement type," Kate mused out loud and she finished off her drink. "But I guess Ryan was right. Love does change you."

"In the best way possible," Rick said, kissing her. "You ready to go back to the hotel? We could rent a movie, get some room service, finish packing…."

She nodded and they headed back to the hotel. When they got to the room, Kate looked around the main living room area.

"We've come a long way in the last year."

"We have," Rick said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "And everything we went through was worth it."

"I couldn't agree more."

Rick went to get the room service menu from the bedroom and Kate's phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket and checked her texts.

Lanie: WOO-HOO! Way to go, girl! Javi and I are so happy for you. Can't wait to see the rock ;)

Kate smiled and typed back:

Kate: Thanks. I'm going to need some bridesmaids… you in?

Lanie: Hell YES!

Rick came back with the menu and 2 glasses of champagne. He saw Kate's screen and laughed.

"Good news travels fast."

The second the words left his mouth, his phone went off too. He and Kate looked at each other and laughed.

"Here's to the rest of our life," Rick said, handing her a glass. They clinked.

"Always," Kate said, her eyes sparkling.


	15. Chapter 15

Okay, here is the final chapter! I promise, a third story is coming, so be on the lookout :) For now, just enjoy the end of "In Your Arms," and please leave feedback so I know what you guys want to see (or rather, read) in the next installment!

* * *

"Kate, wake up. Wake up, honey."

Kate could feel Rick shaking her gently. She groaned and kept her eyes closed, rolling onto her stomach.

"Mhhmmm… why, Castle? It's my day off… I wanna sleep."

"C'mon, baby, I have a surprise for you." He kissed the tip of her nose. "C'mon."

Kate cracked one eye open and stared at him. She slowly turned over and sat up in bed, leaning against the pillows. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, and when she opened her eyes all the way, Alexis was standing at the foot of the bed, holding a tray full of breakfast food. She set the tray on the bedside table and jumped onto the bed as Rick pulled Kate to his side and hugged her.

"Happy Mother's Day," Alexis and Rick both yelled. Rick kissed Kate all over her face and Alexis hugged both of them.

Kate was stunned. Rick let go of her to give her breathing room and she stared back at both of them, her eyes wide.

"We've gotten so close these last few months, and I wanted to celebrate you," Alexis said. "Dad thought it was a great idea."

Kate put her hand on her heart and held back tears. "Alexis…." She reached out and hugged her tightly. When they broke apart, Kate let a few tears out.

"You're already been an amazing mom to me, and if you guys have a kid, that kid will be the luckiest in the world," Alexis said, squeezing Kate's hand.

Kate blinked back tears. "Thank you so much, Alexis. This means a lot to me."

Alexis smiled. "And I'm so happy you guys are getting married! You have a romance I would be lucky to have one day."

Kate smiled and leaned against Rick's chest. She looked at him, and he nodded, then kissed her hair.

"Alexis, we were thinking about it… and I was hoping you would be my Maid of Honor. Lanie, Jenny, and Madison are going to be my bridesmaids, but I want you to have a really special role in our wedding."

Alexis nodded and kissed Kate on the cheek, wrapping her arms around her. "Yes, thank you!"

The fact that Alexis still hadn't decided if she wanted to go to Columbia, when Stanford and Oxford were still at the top of her list, stayed undiscussed. This was their day to be a family. But Kate knew it was killing Rick, and Alexis had to make her decision in a few days.

"So…" Alexis said, snuggling up next to Kate on the bed. "I planned a standard Mother's Day for us – we have a spa appointment at eleven, and then we'll go shopping for new dresses for the engagement party tomorrow night. What do you think?"

Kate smiled and Alexis and stroke her silk red hair. "Sounds perfect."

Rick looked stunned. "What? What do I do?"

Alexis grinned at him. "You stay home to clean the house and make Kate a nice dinner while we spend your money."

Kate burst out laughing and Alexis joined in. Rick pouted, so Kate squeezed his hand.

"Sorry, honey. But didn't you say you have some phone interviews today anyway?"

"Yeah," Rick sighed. "I just would rather hang out with my two favorite girls instead of talk to book critics who already have their opinion of me and my book before they even speak to me."

"Tonight, dad," Alexis promised. "You can pick a movie for after dinner."

That cheered Rick up. Alexis got up and walked towards their bedroom doorway.

"I have some stuff to do… you guys enjoy breakfast."

"Thanks again, Alexis," Kate said. "Should we leave at 10:30?"

"Perfect," Alexis said with a smile, closing the bedroom door behind her. Rick wiggled his eyebrows at Kate.

"It's like she knew I would want to make-out with you the second she was gone."

Kate nodded. "Yep. She knew I would just want to rip –" her voice dropped lower as she pulled Castle towards her "-your-" she pulled his shirt off, running her hands up and down his chest "-clothes off."

They kissed hungrily, rolling around on the bed. It only took a few second for Kate's beloved red t-shirt and boxers to land on the floor, and Rick kissed her breasts, nuzzling her scar. She tangled her fingers in his hair and hooked her legs around his, moaning softly.

"We have to stop," she panted, about ten minutes later. "We need to eat… and I have to get dressed… and…." She was breathless as Rick kissed her, cutting of her air supply. "Damn it, I love you."

Rick stopping kissing her long enough to whisper, "Me too. You're so…" he kissed her again, passionately, until both of their hearts were racing so fast they could barely breathe. Kate sat up and ran her hand through her hair. She was still dazed.

"That was…."

"….The best makeout ever," Rick finished. He grabbed his shirt off the floor and put it back on. Kate nodded and stood up.

"I need to… um, shower. Alone."

Rick grinned. "Am I too much for you, Katherine Beckett?"

"Katherine Castle," she corrected, bending down to kiss him. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Rick leaned back on the pillows proudly, grabbing a scone from Alexis's breakfast tray.

"Yum."

xxxx

Kate and Alexis emerged from the spa three hours after they entered, glowing and relaxed. They walked towards 5th Avenue, chatting about the engagement party. But college was nagging at the back of Kate's mind. She wanted to be able to prepare Rick for whatever might happen, because she knew how hard it would be for him to let go.

"Hey, Alexis?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate to push… but where are you leaning, college-wise?," Kate asked, biting her lip and looking at Alexis. Alexis took a deep breath.

"It's been really hard for me to decide… I spent all morning while you and dad were eating breakfast thinking about it… I just stared at those 3 brochures, trying to decide. And I think I want to go to Columbia."

Kate smiled and squeezed Alexis's hand. "That's great, Alexis. Don't worry, I'll make sure your dad doesn't beg you to live at home."

Alexis laughed lightly. "Thanks. I really do love New York, it's my home. And I think Columbia will be a great experience."

"Good for you," Kate said proudly. "Your maturity always amazes me."

Alexis blushed. "Thanks."

They walked in silence for a few minutes, and then Alexis said, "Okay, so Zara or DKNY first?"

xxxx

"Rick, stop changing your shirt!," Kate exclaimed, walking into their bedroom. "People will be here soon."

Rick turned away from the mirror to look at Kate. In her Michael Kors ikat-print dress and high-heeled sandals, she looked like a goddess. He put his arms around her waist and kissed her.

"I am the luckiest guy in the world."

She grinned and then swatted his shoulder. "Okay, you started with the light blue."

Castle kissed her again. "Well, I have to look my best. Like the kind of guy who would be marrying someone as gorgeous as you."

Kate blushed. "Rick….."

He put a finger over her mouth. "Uh-uh. No arguing. People will be here soon." He winked.

She laughed and he took his finger off her lips. Rick offered Kate his arm and she took it, walking into the living room with him.

"Kate! Oh, darling, you look beautiful!"

Martha came twirling out of the kitchen, holding a wine glass. Rick groaned.

"Already, mother?"

Kate just laughed and hugged Martha.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome, dear," she said to Kate. To Rick, she said, "Oh, please. You're one to talk. And you'll be singing a different tune when you hear my engagement gift to you."

"Martha, you didn't have to get us a gift," Kate said. Martha just waved her hand.

"I found my own place!"

Rick's jaw dropped and he grabbed onto Kate for support. "Mother, now is not the time for jokes."

"It's not a joke, Richard. I found an apartment – well, a penthouse – near the theater district. It's equal distance from Columbia and here, and that way you and Kate will have your own home. I move out in a few weeks."

"Mother, I… I'm speechless…," Rick said, staring at her.

"Did she tell you?"

Kate turned and saw Alexis coming down the stairs wearing a beautiful floral dress from Anthropologie and a pair of Betsey Johnson sandals.

Kate beamed. "Alexis, you look wonderful. So mature."

Alexis joined Rick, Kate, and Martha. She gave Kate a side-hug.

"Thanks. You look great too."

"Yes, dear, I just told them," Martha said to Alexis, sipping her red wine. "Your father appears to still be in shock."

The three women looked at Castle, who still looked shell-shocked. Then, the doorbell rang, startling him out of his daze. Alexis and Kate just laughed, and then Kate went to answer the door.

"Lanie, Javi, hi!"

Lanie, looking amazing in a white maxidress, hugged Kate and kissed her cheek.

"Congrats, honey!"

Kate grinned as Esposito hugged her awkwardly.

"Hey, Javi. Thanks for coming."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Lanie and Esposito entered the loft, and just as Kate as closing the door, she heard Ryan yell, "Hey, hold the door!"

She poked her head out into the hallway and saw Ryan and Jenny, hand-in-hand, bright smiles on their faces. She loved how perfect they were for each other.

"Hey!"

Ryan hugged her, then Jenny.

"Kate, you look amazing," Jenny remarked as they entered the loft. "You have that engagement glow."

"Thanks, Jenny," Kate said. "You look pretty great yourself."

Ryan, Jenny, and Kate, joined the rest of the group in the living room, where Kate and Alexis had set out hors d'oeuvres. Ryan was asking Alexis about college, and she was talking about her choice with a bright, eager look on her face. Kate glanced over at Rick, who was standing next to Martha and half-listening to Esposito – who was telling the two of them about the last Broadway show he and Lanie saw - while he watched Alexis. She walked over to him and squeezed his arm.

"Everything okay?," she whispered. He started to nod, then shook his head. Kate tugged on his arm and they walked into the kitchen.

"What's wrong? Alexis told you yesterday that she decided on Columbia, and you said you agreed with all of her reasons. You said you were really happy for her, and promised to support her," she reminded him gently, keeping her voice low.

"I know," he said, running a hand through his hair. "It's just… she's my baby, you know? I haven't spent more than a few days apart from her since she was born."

"I know," Kate said soothingly, rubbing his arm. "But she won't leave for a few months. Let's just have fun for now, okay?"

"KATE!"

Kate and Rick turned towards the door. They hadn't heard it, but Madison had rung the doorbell while they were talking. Kate hadn't seen her old friend in over a year, but they emailed regularly. She looked better than ever, in a body-hugging, navy-blue strapless dress. She ran towards Kate, and Kate met her in the living room.

"I can't believe you're getting married!," Madison exclaimed, wrapping her long arms around Kate. Kate grinned and let Madison squeeze her to death. When they broke apart. Maddie looked her up and down.

"You look _hot._"

Kate blushed and then turned to the rest of her friends, who wall looked confused.

"Everyone, this is Madison, my best friend from high school. Madison, this is Martha, Rick's mother; Alexis, Rick's daughter; Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito, who I work with; Jenny, Ryan's wife; and Lanie, a good friend of mine and an M.E."

"Hi, guys!," Madison waved. Everyone went back to their normal conversation and she winked at Kate.

"Told you that you wanted to marry him and make babies," Madison whispered to her before walking away. Kate laughed and watched Madison join the group, talking up Ryan and Jenny.

Rick came over to Kate and handed her a glass of wine. "Remember when I went on a date with her?"

Kate smirked at him. "You want to go down that road? I can still call Demming and invite him."

Castle frowned and put his arm around Kate's waist, hugging her close to him. "Never mind."

Kate laughed, but it wasn't genuine. She watched the very small group of their closest friends and family chat with each other. Rick sensed something was up.

"Kate?"

"My dad," Kate said, trying not to sound disappointed. "He said he would come. I know that I upset him by talking about our little Mother's Day yesterday when we talked on the phone, but I didn't think…"

She stopped when she saw the front door open. She squeezed Rick's hand as she saw her dad enter.

"Dad!"

She let go of Rick and ran towards her father, hugging him tightly.

"Hey, Katie," he said with a smile. He handed her a small bag when they pulled apart. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's okay, dad," she said, beaming at him. "You're here now, and we are so happy you could make it."

He smiled. "Wouldn't miss it."

"Jim," Rick said, coming up behind Kate. The two men shook hands and the Rick took Jim around the room, making introductions. Kate watched them proudly. Everything was perfect. She opened the bag her dad gave her. Inside was a small box. She opened the box and she saw a locket sitting on a little bed of cotton. The locket looked old, and it was silver, about the size of a quarter. Inside was a picture of her parents on their wedding day.

"It was your mom's," Jim said, coming back to the spot where Kate stood, with Rick in tow. "I bought it for her on our 1st anniversary. I thought maybe you could put your wedding picture on the other side.

A few tears collected in the corners of Kate's eyes. "Thanks, dad."

xxxx

Later that night, after all the goodbyes, Kate and Rick were cleaning up from the party. Alexis had gone out with her friends, so it was just the two of them.

"So, that went well," Rick said from the kitchen, where he was doing dishes. Kate nodded from the couch.

"Yeah, it did."

"So, now all we have to do is plan a wedding," Kate said with a sigh. She rubbed her eyes. "We have so much to do…"

Rick put the last glass away and joined Kate on the couch, lifting her legs and sitting down, placing her legs across his lap.

"We don't have to do it right away," Rick said, taking off her heels and massaging her foot. "Or at all. We can hire a wedding planner, you know."

"You got a discount, Castle?," Kate teased, her green eyes sparkling. He rolled his bright blue ones and faked a laugh.

"Oh, ha ha. Tell me, will you be here all week?"

Kate sat up and took Rick's face in her hands, shifting herself into his lap.

"I'll be here forever, " she promised, kissing him softly.

"And always?," he asked quietly, nuzzling her nose with his. She nodded.

"Always."


End file.
